


Beautiful Trauma

by annoyinglynikki



Category: Peaky Blinders (TV)
Genre: F/M, Implied/Referenced Domestic Violence
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-08-01
Updated: 2018-08-01
Packaged: 2019-06-20 03:45:39
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 10
Words: 23,320
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15525324
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/annoyinglynikki/pseuds/annoyinglynikki





	1. Chapter 1

Ella shivered slightly as she stepped onto the platform at Duddeston. The late hour made it look like a murder scene _before_ the crime.

Some of her hair had come loose from their pins and fluttered in front of her face. She lifted her carrier higher and exhaled the last of the London air still trapped in her lungs. Her footsteps were determined and she refused to look around despite the paranoia telling her that someone was following her.

The sky was a thick blanket of smog hovering thirty feet or so from the frigid ground; it felt like she’d been trapped in a cage.

Her footsteps echoed sharply around the deserted street, sounding overly loud in her own ears, like the booming heartbeat of a condemned prisoner. She wondered where everyone was but the moment was fleeting and soon she was shaking the thought from her head – she surely didn’t want to meet anyone at this late hour.

The pavement, in all its stunning decrepitude, looked as if someone had taken a sledgehammer to it, diligently hitting every cement rectangle with enough force to make a network of cracks. The lamppost candles flickered eerily on the pavement and Ella felt the hairs on the back of her neck stand on end.

Her knuckles had turned white from the grip on her bag and she swallowed bile as she rounded a corner and suddenly heard noises.

A jabber of unintelligible voices with a rough edge. Her steps slowed and she spotted a group of men ahead. They were joking loudly among themselves, laughing raucously and punching each other's arms. Ella scooted as far to the outside of the pavement as she could.

She fumbled slightly with the clip on her carrier and exhaled with relief when her hand touched the cool metal of the pistol Alfie had forced her to take.

As she got closer to where they were standing, she noticed that they were loitering outside of a pub. Each had a pint in hand and looked as if they’d been there a while.

One of them was walking as if the ground were the deck of a storm-tossed boat. She winced as he lurched and stumbled and then spotted her.

“Oi!” a bony finger raised towards her and the man laughed as Ella slowed and then stopped a few meters from them. “Lads, that’s bonny lass, that is!”

His friends cheered and then a cacophony of voices was beckoning her forward – offering their drinks and promises of a good time.

Ella smiled politely and her grip on the pistol tightened. She’d never shot someone before and sent up a quick prayer that the situation didn’t change that fact.

She scurried backwards a few paces when a man wearing nothing but pants and suspenders stumbled towards her. She recovered from a stumble and crossed the road, keeping her eyes forward as they yelled out behind her.

She rounded the next corner at a near run and it was much quieter. There were women milling about here, hanging up clothing and Ella breathed a sigh.

Her hand loosened around the gun and she felt around for the scrap of paper her mother had given her before boarding the train.

It was the address of the woman her mother had worked for before marrying her father. Myrtle Lee. Ella wasn’t sure if the woman would still be there and hesitated a moment before approaching the nearest low wall.

The house, like all the others, was box-shaped with its front door dead centre, four small windows near each corner and constructed of red brick. A path made from leftover bricks made a shallow S-shape between the gate and the front door. A small rose garden had been planted in front, and although it had obviously once been carefully planned and loved, it was now riddled with weeds.

The woman at the washing line glanced up sharply at Ella’s throat clearing. Her messy hair and dirtied skin were a sure sign of rough living – not to mention the worn-out clothes. She was scrawny with an oddly wise look on her face and Ella hesitated again.

“I don’t got time for whatever you’re tryin’ to sell.” The woman snapped agitatedly and Ella’s face paled.

“Oh, no.” she quickly proffered the piece of paper and chewed her lip nervously. “I’m looking for this address. I’m afraid I’m a little lost…”

The woman eyed her and shifted the basket on her hip, snatching the paper and laughing humourlessly. “You’re a lot more’n lost. Wrong side of the city, you are. About an hour’s walk in _those_ shoes...”

Ella’s shoulders sagged and she felt the last couple of days’ weight in her bones. She was aware that the woman was staring at her as if she’d lost her mind but she couldn’t find it in her to care.

Her shoulders shook with silent sobs and her bag cluttered to the ground. It wasn’t the fact that she was on the other side of where she needed to be or that she was tired. She was alone. Alone and utterly terrified that she’d made a mistake by coming here.

She felt a pair of bony arms around her shoulders and someone yelling for a kettle to be boiled and Ella almost laughed. The woman patted her shoulder awkwardly and made soothing noises that Ella was sure weren’t meant to sound as patronising as they did.

“We’ll get you to where you need to be.” The woman whispered and Ella hiccoughed and shook her head. She didn’t need the woman’s pity. “Oh, come off it. You can spend the night here in Kitty’s bed and then we’ll get you to Small Heath in the morning.”

Ella gasped as the woman shoved something warm against her mouth and choked on the overly sweet tea.

“You owe me for this, Rose.” Someone hissed above them and Ella glanced up. The woman glaring down at her was even skinnier than the one next to her but Ella knew she wasn’t meek – not in the slightest. “You kick in your sleep and if I wake up bruised tomorrow I’m spitting in your breakfast.”

Rose scoffed and heaved herself and Ella up, grabbing the dropped bag and urging Ella to drink the tea she’d been given.

Kitty followed them up the garden path and into the modest house, grumbling under her breath. Rose led her towards the back, past a room with just one sofa and an ancient looking table, and pushed her into a spindly chair in the corner.

Ella’s bag was shoved at Kitty with strict instructions to deposit it upstairs. Rose stared at the blonde woman with a pucker between her brows.

“Where’re you from, then?”

Ella watched Rose wet a cloth and proffer it to her; she must’ve smeared mud on her cheeks when she’d wiped at her tears. It wasn’t enough to rid her of the grime of travelling but she was grateful nonetheless.

“I’m from up north.” Ella sipped at the tea, grimaced and shyly deposited it on the table.

Rose didn’t look like she believed a word but Ella ignored the fact. She didn’t need to tell her sob story any more than she had to strip naked and dance down the road.

“Kitty’s room is across the hall from mine, so if you need anything just knock.” Rose motioned her head towards where Kitty had disappeared. “First room on the left.”

Ella smiled thankfully and made her way upstairs. Kitty was standing with her arms crossed and watched Ella enter her room with hawk-like eyes.

“Don’t touch anything.” Was the last thing Ella heard before the door closed behind her.

***

The morning had faded in like a scene from bad theatre production. The cast stomped about, slamming doors and projecting their voices, then sulking because no-one replied.

Ella watched from the window as wives kissed their husbands and then turned around to yell at barefoot children. The tea that Rose had brought up was, again, too sweet and she’d eyed the cup warily after she found out that Kitty had made it.

Rose had said that one of their neighbours, Mr. Knight, was sending his son into Small Heath for business and that Ella could ride with him.

She donned a fresh dress and growled at her wild hair as she wrestled it into something that resembled neat. Her travelling boots would have to do for the day as well since her nice shoes were being saved.

Kitty had already left for work – at the pub Ella had avoided those men at – and Rose offered her a smile as she came down the stairs. Ella felt embarrassed about her outburst the night before and tried to apologise but Rose waved her off.

They shook hands and words of good luck and that was that.

The Knight’s cart was a rickety old thing but Ella was grateful that she didn’t have to walk the ten miles without knowing where she was going.

Seth made little conversation after introducing himself but Ella was content to watch Birmingham go by. It was a much different atmosphere during the day.

It was misting slightly but there were still people milling about the streets; greeting each other cordially before crunching on sombrely to wherever they needed to be.

London was much busier during the day and there was a lot of diversity to be seen. Here in Birmingham almost everyone was equally as sombre faced and plodded along as if they had no will other than to exist.

Alfie had always said that London was where dreamers went to die but Birmingham looked like the type of place that no one even dared to dream…

The cart jostled and Ella squealed, clutching her bag to her chest tightly. She’d also grabbed a fistful of Seth’s shirt and had to admire his strength for keeping them upright as he wrestled the horse to a standstill.

Ella let go of him, gripped her hat against her head and offered Seth a sheepish smile. “Sorry.”

He waved her words off and let go of the reigns as he hopped off to inspect the wheel on his side of the cart. She heard a few colourful curses and sighed dejectedly at her own luck – or lack thereof.

“’s shattered, miss.” Seth’s head popped up and he looked as apologetic as any stranger could. “But you’ll be able to walk comfort’bly from ‘ere. A mile to the heart of Small Heath but you’re only going s’far as Lower Dartmouth street.”

She eyed the road suspiciously and allowed him to help her down, mindful of her skirt. “I suppose it’s better than nothing.”

She held out her hand with a smile at him and he chuckled as he took it like a gentleman. “We’re no more’n a ten-minute walk away. Just go straight down this road and turn left at the end. Straight down until you come to Lower Dartmouth. The bakery’s on the left side; can’t miss it.”

She nodded despite herself and huffed a sigh before setting off towards where he’d pointed. She was attracting a lot of attention from the people she passed on the street.

Women stared at her clothes and men smirked at their own dirty thoughts. She readjusted her hat and cleared her throat after passing a group who all laughed at her discomfort.

She wondered how often these people saw newcomers; Birmingham wasn’t so small to evoke so much attention and yet she could feel the stares like nails against her back.

Someone apologised quickly after accidentally shoving roughly against her elbow. Ella turned and noticed a small girl trailing behind the four other boys; sucking on her thumb as her dark hair swung around her waist. She couldn’t have been older than five.

The oldest boy – she guessed from his height – held her hand as another boy, with dark hair like hers, listened to him talk. Her angelic little face was grey and pulled into a miserable frown and her dress was torn in three separate places, splattered with mud.

The boy tugged her hand; Ella heard the girl whine. “Come on, Katie, I need to go, hurry up! They’re waitin’.”

“I’m tired, Finn!” she whined again and Ella’s heart wrenched as a few tears dripped at the end of her chin. “Don’t wan’o go ‘nymore!”

“Katie!”

The girl had yanked her hand away from the boy’s and had stopped dead in front of Ella, who promptly swerved to avoid a collision.

“Jesus, Katie!” the younger, dark-haired boy exclaimed, pulling her against his chest as she started to cry. “Sorry, miss, my sister ain’t feeling too well. She’s been whinin’ all day.”

Ella waved the boy off and leaned down to look at the girl. “Darling, are you alright?”

“Sorry.” The little girl hiccoughed and unfolded herself from her brother’s embrace. “Sorry, miss, sorry. Didn’t mean to!”

Ella cooed and put a hand against her forehead – warm. “Don’t worry about it. I’m supposed to watch where I go; you’d been walking there. Do you have a headache?”

The little girl nodded, frowning at the ground and nibbling on her thumbnail as Ella sighed. She glanced at the boys – two of whom she realised were twins – and then lifted the little girl into her arms. “Would one of you strong boys mind carrying my bag? I’ll walk with you to where you need to be.”

The oldest boy, Finn, raised a sceptical eyebrow at her and glanced at the other boys. “I was s’posed to drop ‘em at the Parlour. Aunt Pol said that someone was gonna come look after ’em.”

Ella chewed her lip and nodded. “I’ll walk with you.”

Finn smiled at her, though it was a bit forced, and turned immediately. He lifted her bag and handed the other handle to the other boy as Katie lay her head against Ella’s shoulder.

They were leading her down a smaller road in the opposite direction of where she’d been heading. The twins, adorably fresh faced, walked on either side of her and after a few paces one of them took her free hand and grinned up at her.

“I’m James Shelby.” He then pointed to the other one, grinning just as wide. “Jacob’s that one. Katie’s our sister.”

Ella chuckled at him and felt Katie shift against her. “Ella Fitzpatrick. Nice to meet you, Misters Shelby.”

Their chests puffed with pride and she noticed Finn eyeing her again before shaking his head and whispering something to the other boy.

“That’s Finn and William.” Jacob said. He was much quieter than James but his eyes held twice the mischief. “Finn’s our uncle.”

Ella nodded and noticed the lane that Finn had turned onto was much neater. The houses were all perfectly symmetrical and the sidewalk wasn’t as cracked.

Finn stopped in front of a dark door and set her bag down. The windows were all boarded up and she could hear a lot of voices inside. “Here we are. She can walk the bit from here, thank you miss.”

She watched him take out a pound and offer it to her. Her face obviously conveyed her surprise because he just sighed, opened her bag and dropped the note into it.

She almost lunged at him but remembered Katie and watched his eyes widen at the pistol atop her clothes before he was turning accusing eyes at her.

“I’m glad to have helped.” She gently handed Katie to William, who grunted under the little girl’s weight, and reclaimed her bag from Finn; snapping it shut and clutching it to her chest. “Could you please tell me how to get to Lower Dartmouth street from here?”

James jumped forward and tugged at the bottom of her dress excitedly. “We can take you, miss Ella! Jacob and me, we’ll take you!”

Finn was shaking his head at them and Ella smiled kindly at the little boy. “I don’t want to upset your parents. I can make my own way; but thank you for offering.”

The twins’ faces fell and Finn pushed them towards the door William had disappeared through before turning back to face her. “Down straight, left and after another five yards a right. Should take you directly.”

She nodded at him and she saw his eyes flicker to her bag before he too entered the house. She was sure that he was wondering about the gun but knew better than to ask – she was thankful that he hadn’t.


	2. Chapter 2

The bakery was quintessentially English. The sign above the window was peeling somewhat; gold lettering generously curled on a midnight blue background. The floor inside was a black and white checkerboard of tiles that showed the wear of three decades worth of boots and high heels. White bloomers and iced buns dominated the display, but Ella’s favourite were the Eccles cakes; sugared puff pastry with sweet currants packed inside.

At the counter was an old woman, not the kind you pity with their old bones and feeble limbs, but the kind who could still run an army kitchen given half a chance. She stood quite tall and slim, her short grey hair neatly styled.

The woman glanced up as Ella stepped forward and cleared her throat. Her eyes narrowed and she set down the cigarette holder. “How can I ‘elp you, love?”

Ella swallowed thickly and tried not to fidget. “I’m looking for Myrtle Lee.”

The old woman laughed brusquely and picked her cigarette back up to take a drag. “’aven’t heard that name in years! Who are you?”

“My name is Ella.” She offered Myrtle her hand. “You might have known my mother, Ruth? She used to work-

“Lord above, bless us!” Myrtle smiled, just a twitch of the mouth. “Last time I saw Ruth was the day she married that accountant and left me on my own.”

Ella didn’t know whether to be relieved or scared that the woman remembered. Her tone was cordial but Ella was nervous from the look in the woman’s eyes. “They moved to London after they left here.”

Myrtle was nodding and stepped out from behind the counter. “You ‘ave her eyes. I s’pose you’re here for a job, then…”

Ella didn’t say anything as Myrtle debated the situation. She knew exactly where her references were but she didn’t dare move – like a deer caught in a predator’s gaze.

“You worked in a bakery before?”

Ella nodded and Myrtle held out her hand expectantly. Ella didn’t waste a second, digging up the crumpled piece of paper and handing it over. “I learned everything from my mother and then went to work at a bakery in Camden Town where we lived.”

“Why’d you leave?” Myrtle mumbled around her cigarette and Ella blinked to assuage the piercing look.

“A series of unfortunate events all stemming from one bad decision.” Ella needed to stay as vague about her situation as possible.

Myrtle laughed humourlessly again and handed Ella’s references back. “If you’re half as hard-working as that mother of yours, I’ve seen enough. You’ll start as soon as you can. Working from five to four – I start baking by six so I want you wide awake. Where’re you staying?”

Ella open and closed her mouth before shrugging her shoulders. “I haven’t got anywhere right now… but I promise I’ll find somewhere close by.”

Myrtle grunted and then shot her eyes to the heavens before motioning Ella toward a thin hallway behind the counter.

Ella nodded along as Myrtle pointed out the stairs that led to the basement kitchen where the baking ovens were, a small lavatory and the office.

The narrow stairs were old and creaky and there were frames against the wall that Ella was scared she’d bump off. There was another thin hallway with three doors and Myrtle pointed to the last one with a forced smile.

The room contained a small bed, neatly made, two straight-backed chairs, a washstand, a bureau – without a mirror – and a small table. There were no curtains at the windows, no pictures on the wall. Ella guessed that the windows had not been raised in a while; a big fly was buzzing angrily at one of them, up and down, up and down, trying to get out.

“It’s not been in use for a long while but it’ll do.” Myrtle followed Ella inside and cleared her throat. “I’ll dig up some curtains for you and you’ll have to use the downstairs loo but-

“It’s perfect.” Ella giggled and hauled her bag onto the bed. Dust flew up and Myrtle harrumphed, flapping her hand in front of her face. “I don’t need much, Mrs. Lee.”

“Abrahams.” Myrtle quickly corrected. “I’ve not gone by Lee since my husband died. It’s either Mrs. Abrahams or Myrtle.”

“Of course.” Ella fiddled with her fingers as quiet settled around them. Her nails were chipped and dirty – blood and soil – and Ella shuddered at the memories of how they got that way.

“There is a tub if you want a wash.” Myrtle said, noticing her preoccupation. “I’ll go heat up the water while you get settled. I don’t tolerate shouting indoors so if you need something, just come down and I’ll see what I can do.”

Ella didn’t have time to respond before Myrtle disappeared down the hall, humming something under her breath as her cigarette left a trail of wispy smoke.

***

The water was deliciously warm as Ella slid into it. She’d felt strange, bathing in the middle of the day, but Myrtle had assured her that the back was off-limits to customers and that no one would bother her.

Ella had been given a light lunch of fresh bread and butter with tea while they waited for the water to boil and Myrtle had thoroughly interrogated her on her mother.

Ella avoided questions about her own life like a plague and after a while, understanding blossomed behind Myrtle’s eyes and she let the subject drop.

She could hear her new boss laughing with a patron. They switched between English and Romani quite a few times. Ella’s mother had told her that Myrtle had been married to a gypsy man from a prominent family in Birmingham and that Ella would have to expect the woman to switch to Romani whenever she was angry.

It was a strange thing, thinking about her mother. She knew it was safer that she wasn’t back in Camden and that her mother was looked after but her stomach still wrenched with longing.

She wondered when – if ever again – she’d get to see everyone from home again. It had been a bittersweet moment to witness her mother sobbing and clinging to Alfie as Ella boarded the train.

Her throat constricted and she pulled herself upright, taking the sponge and soap that Myrtle had provided, and set about scrubbing the memories away until her skin was red and raw.

Her hair left a trail of droplets all the way up the stairs and into her room. She put her dress back on and wrapped her hair to let it dry as she contemplated if she wanted to join Myrtle downstairs or not.

She decided to stay and read a while - a small book of poems that her mother had loved to hear her read aloud.

“ _How do I love thee? Let me count the ways. I love thee to the depth and breadth and height my soul can reach, when feeling out of sight for the ends of being and ideal grace._ ” Tears welled up in her eyes as she stared at the words.

Her wedding vows had ruined the entire poem for her and she slammed the book shut before crawling into bed. The tears were hot against her cheeks and her body ached with memories of the hurt she’d suffered.

***

Ella giggled as she danced past Myrtle to deposit the fresh batch of biscuits into a display case. She’d been awake since four, always a light sleeper, and so she’d asked Myrtle if she could start early on some of her own recipes.

She’d been given one of the two ovens and full reign on the pantry. The smell of sugar and vanilla had attracted several patrons and Myrtle was singing her praises to everyone who came into the shop.

Myrtle bagged a loaf of bread for a young woman with a little boy clinging to her skirts. Ella smiled at him and offered him a biscuit and his hesitation made her chuckle. “Go on, tell me if you like it.”

His mother smiled gratefully at her as he bit into the treat and grinned around a mouth full of crumbs. Ella could see that they were struggling and treats weren’t a common occurrence.

“Have a nice day.” Myrtle winked at the boy and handed the mother her change. They left the store and Ella couldn’t help but compare the little boy to James and Jacob. “Myrtle…?”

The older woman narrowed her eyes at Ella suspiciously and crossed her arms. “ _Yes_ …?”

“Do you know a family by the name of Shelby?”

Myrtle’s hands settled on her hips and her lips pursed. “Why do you ask?”

“I met some children yesterday with the name and one of them was ill. I thought I might go see her on my lunch break.” Ella picked at a thread on her apron.

“Those Shelby’s are nothing but trouble, Ella.” Myrtle picked up the discarded sheet pan and waved it at the younger girl. “A girl like you has no business with them. Best leave it be.”

Ella frowned at the floor and scuffed her foot a couple of times. They couldn’t have been that bad. And Katie was a child…

Despite the warning, Ella had made up a few packets of biscuits that were the ones that Myrtle had deemed wouldn’t sell before closing time and slipped out of the shop.

She knew that Myrtle knew where she was headed but ignored her boss’ disappointed stare. People nodded at her as she passed and she did her best to keep smiling at them – it didn’t do to ward off potential customers.

There were people coming in and out of the door where she’d left Katie and the boys and she chewed her lip as she considered going inside. Since it was mostly men, she knew it wasn’t all that good for her to be wandering inside on a whim.

“Excuse me, sir, do you know where I can find Finn or William?” she touched a passing man’s arm lightly. He seemed startled for a second before laughing and stumbling away.

She blushed at the attention and saw one of the men standing close-by amble inside, flicking a cigarette lightly. She clutched the bag of treats to her side and shifted her weight before sighing and turning away.

She’d no more than taken a step when someone touched her arm. “Why are you lookin’ for Finn and William? ‘ave they been causing trouble again?”

The woman was regal looking, even here, with arched brows and intense dark eyes. Her hair styled perfectly to accentuate her round face.

“Oh, no.” Ella motioned to the door behind the woman. “I walked them and the twins here yesterday. The little girl, Katie, wasn’t feeling well and I didn’t feel right just leaving her to walk. I just came to drop off some treats for them…”

The woman didn’t look like the type to be easily taken aback and Ella wasn’t sure if she should be proud at the open-mouthed disbelief her words had caused.

“You’re the angel? The one John said Katie kept going on about last night?”

Ella’s cheeks flamed again and she chuckled nervously. She reached into the bag and offered the bags of biscuits to the woman. “I don’t know about wings, but I have biscuits and I’d feel better knowing that the children got them.”

The biscuits traded hands; the woman eyed them and pursed her lips. “You made these yourself?”

“I work at the bakery on Lower Dartmouth street.” Ella said. “These were left over from my experimenting. They’re chocolate biscuits with walnuts in them.”

“You work for Myrtle?” the woman’s eyes narrowed into thin slits. “What did you say your name was?”

“I didn’t.” Ella felt awkward and stepped back from the woman. Myrtle had warned her that these people were bad news but now, looking at the woman in front of her, she believed it. “Well, good day.”

She didn’t give the woman time to stop her. She heard the woman yelling at someone behind her and her footsteps sped up on her way back towards the bakery.

_Shit._ What had she gotten herself into now…?


	3. Chapter 3

Myrtle had been cursing under her breath since Ella had relayed what had happened outside of the betting shop – nearly three days ago.

Ella had learned that the woman she’d spoken to had been none other than Polly Gray. The Shelby matriarch had no doubt told her nephews about their encounter as well, since a man had been posted outside of the bakery ever since.

They watched all of Ella and Myrtle’s movements and traded shifts every three hours. Patrons were wary of them and in turn, the bakery had less foot traffic other than the regulars – which consisted of housewives and Myrtle’s gypsy friends.

Ella didn’t understand why they’d taken such an interest in her and was beginning to tire of her boss’ mutterings. She glared at the newest man stood across the street.

He’d only been there twenty minutes when she beckoned him inside. Myrtle had gone upstairs for her break and Ella was left alone so she felt safe inviting him in. Well… as safe as anyone would when inviting a gang member to conversate with you.

When he didn’t budge, she crossed her arms and stormed across the shop. “Are you blind? Come here!”

He blinked at her and glanced around before pushing away from the wall and ambling closer. “Yes, ma’am?”

“What is your name?” she hoped her face looked as severe as Polly’s had been. “Don’t lie to me, I’ve no patience left with you lot anymore…”

“Albert Donaghue.” His back straightened and his eyes hardened as he stared down at her.

“May I ask why you and your friends have been loitering outside for the past few days? You’re scaring away our bloody customers!” she hoped that the finger she’d been poking into his chest left bruises.

“I’m only following orders, ma’am.” The man stood rigidly, hands at his sides with his chin up. Military.

“Unfollow them, then.” She snapped. “If I see you, or any other Peaky Blinder, near this bakery again I will not hesitate to contact the police.”

She’d meant to sound more threatening but her voice had wobbled near the end and she could see amusement clouding his eyes.

He cleared his throat and nodded solemnly before turning and strolling down the street. Ella wanted to stomp her foot and scream but that would have been very childish so she just went back inside and started a simple bread dough mixture.

Her mother had always said that dough was the best way to get all your frustrations out. It could take a beating that ten men would have died from and still rise perfectly, warm and buttery.

Alfie hated it when she teased him by offering him a doughball on stressful days. He’d always grumble and tell her that he had ways to alleviate stress, _thank you very much_ , before yelling at Ollie.

She heard the door open and sighed as she wiped the flour from her hands. She greeted the client with as much cheer she could muster; catching Albert’s eye over the woman’s head. He smiled.

So much for her threats.

***

Her neck ached and the skin on her hands had turned red from hauling flour sacks down to the pantry all afternoon. It had started thundering earlier and Myrtle had closed the shop when it became clear that no one would come in.

They’d been stocktaking since then and Ella was begging for a rest. Myrtle, she was sure, ran on steam and tea because the woman didn’t look tired at all.

“That’s the fifth time you’ve counted that sack, Ella.” Myrtle laughed and Ella’s cheeks heated up as she plopped down and stared up at Myrtle.

“Myrtie, darling, my eyes are starting to go squint.” Ella pulled her eyes towards her nose for effect. “Can’t we just go on tomorrow morning before we open? I need a break and preferably some hard liquor.”

Myrtle laughed again and held out her hand to pull Ella off the ground. “It’s just about done anyway. I’ll finish up before I head for bed but the liquor, that I cannot help you with.”

Ella patted Myrtle’s hand and made her way upstairs to check the doors on the shop.

“You know…” Myrtle said behind her and Ella glanced over her shoulder with a sceptical look. “There’re a few pubs within walkin’ distance… if you wanted, you could go out for a jolly time.”

Ella scoffed at her and shook her head. “I doubt that me walking into a pub by myself is such a clever idea.”

Myrtle peered around Ella’s body and grumbled as she saw Albert staring at them. “Take him with you.”

“What? You’ve lost your mind if you think I’m going anywhere with him.”

“Well, I’m getting sick of his face.” It was true. Since Ella had approached Albert, he’d become a fixed presence in front of the shop. “If we don’t figure out a way to get rid of ‘im soon, I’m likely to bash his head with a rolling pin. Might as well get some use out of him…”

Ella eyed Albert and sighed. She really wanted a gin and tonic – it relieved as much stress as bread dough – but she didn’t want to wander the streets of Small Heath alone…

He came closer the first time she beckoned him and stood just as straight as he always did; Myrtle huffed and crossed her arms.

“Know any good drinking spots, Albert?”

He seemed taken aback by her question but nodded all the same and Ella turned to Myrtle. The older woman shrugged her shoulders at Ella’s silent question.

“Well, since I’m not getting rid of you any time soon… you might as well buy me a drink.” She motioned for him to wait while she fetched her purse and left him with Myrtle.

The walk was quiet and Ella pondered over the fact that she was walking alone with a man who was under instructions to watch her like a hawk. Would he hurt her?

“What’s this pub of yours’ name, then?”

“The Garrison.” He glanced at her quickly. “It’s the closest one to the bakery.”

“Shelby’s.” Ella stopped in her tracks and glared at him, hands on her hips like when her mother always scolded her. “You’re taking me to your employers, Albert!”

He raised his hands innocently. “No, I swear. It’s the closest to the bakery and I’m sure they won’t even be there.”

Her eyes narrowed at him. “I will beat you with a chair leg if you’re lying to me.”

He waited for her silently to make her mind up and offered her a sheepish smile when she strolled forward.

“Why do they have you watching me in the first place?” his throat bobbed nervously and he shrugged. “Right, they ordered you not to tell me anything.”

Ella could hear that it was busy even from twenty paces away. Loud off-key singing that reminded her of the boys from the bakery back home when they were drunk.

He held the door for her to step inside and she blinked as she looked around the dark pub with the loud singing. It was exactly what she expected from a place nestled between smelting and milling factories.

Smoke and whiskey permeated the air, mixed with sweat and howling laughter. A working man’s pub.

She felt Albert nudge her back and point towards an open spot at the long bar. The woman behind it smiled at her and nodded at Albert.

Ella was sure that the barmaid could have graced any magazine she wished. There was a shyness to her, hesitation in her body movements and a softness in her voice when she offered Ella her gin and tonic.

“You’re that new baker down on Lower Dartmouth street, aren’t you? I’ve heard your biscuits are delicious.” the woman said over the din, her Irish lilt sounding out of place amongst the harsh Brummie’s.

“Ella Fitzpatrick.” Ella offered her hand to the woman and smiled. “My reputation precedes me.”

“Grace Burgess, a pleasure to meet you.” Grace’s eyes flitted to Albert and she smiled tightly before heading off to help someone else to a drink.

They were singing _Greensleeves_ and Ella smiled as she hummed along. She tried to ignore Albert’s eyes on her face as she watched the men swinging around each other in a sort-of dance.

The man on the table, the one singing, clapped his hands and stamped his feet before grinning and pointing right at her. She didn’t know what it meant but when the cheering started, she nearly choked on her drink.

Albert laughed as she was dragged forward and hauled onto the table next to the man. “Pick a song and sing f’r us, love.”

She glared down at her warden and shook her head as she tried edging her way off the table. “I don’t sing, sir.”

The man flapped a dismissive hand and put his arm around her waist. “Come on, darling, don’t be a spoilsport!”

The crowd around them started cheering her and she looked at Albert for help. He raised his hands and motioned for her to do as the man next to her bid.

She refused and felt her ears burn as ire towards Albert built in her chest. She hated attention and he was refusing to help her, despite her kindness towards him!

“Sing!” a woman yelled and Ella huffed as she struggled against the man’s grip. “Sing f’r us and Billy will let go!”

She wanted to bear her teeth at the crowd but finally gave in and sagged at the man. “Wild Mountain Thyme?”

Everyone applauded and she heard someone start banging a rhythm on a nearby table.

Her voice was soft as she started the song and Billy nudged her softly, encouragingly. Everyone had gone quiet to listen and she blushed crimson.

The song reminded her of the times her mother and father danced around the sitting room, humming their own tunes as she watched with awe.

Billy her joined in halfway in and she smiled at him kindly. His voice was strong and she liked the deep timbre of it next to her own soft voice.

The door opened suddenly and Ella faltered for a second as three men stepped inside and looked around. Billy joined in again to urge her on.

Really, she was mannerly enough to avoid gawking at random strangers. But these men before her, radiating nothing but power, had her enthralled.

The man in the front, with the hooded eyes, was mesmerizing in every way. The faint glimmer of the lanterns ghosted over his pale skin when those very eyes shifted and finally acknowledged her presence, a surge of understanding had calmed and further mystified her at the same time.

The leader of the men who had Albert posted in front of the bakery at all hours. The ones who didn’t trust her after she’d tried to help a child and offer her some treats to make her feel better.

Her song ended and she narrowed her eyes at Albert as she was helped off the table. He was glancing nervously at his bosses and she scoffed as she grabbed her purse, satisfied when it flung out and hit him on the side of the head.

The men were still standing in front of the door and she stopped to wait for them to let her pass. Albert was right behind her.

“This is her, then.” The man exhaled a puff of smoke and glanced behind him. The tallest man, with the moustache, was leering as if he could see through her clothes. “John, I _suppose_ you _ought_ to thank the woman for the biscuits…”

The other man was smirking and Ella wished to wipe it off his handsome face with a good slap. “Thank you, _angel_. I’m sure glad that you’re enjoying our hospitality, isn’t she, Albert?”

Albert shifted behind her. She clenched her teeth and surged forward, pushing past them and storming into the wintry night air as she heard their laughter behind her.

They’d been toying with her. Taunting her with her own kindness.

***

“I told you!” Myrtle was on a rampage again. “I told you to stay away from them and now I’m hearing stories from the Lee’s that there’s a war going on!”

Ella sighed and rolled out the pie crust as she listened. She hadn’t slept a wink the previous night – her thoughts filled with different shades of blue and a smirk.

Arthur, Thomas and John Shelby. She’d been given their names to go with the faces and Ella rued the day she ever set foot near the Parlour.

“That’s why they’ve got that bastard outside,” a pan slammed down on the worktop. “They think we’re conspiring against them! Bloody Blinders!”

Ella glanced at Albert under her lashes. He looked much the same as any other day but his shoulders were tenser and his eyes had bags underneath.

“I’m sorry, Myrtle.” Ella mumbled into the silence. She layered the plums inside the crust and sprinkled it with cinnamon and sugar. “I was just trying to be nice. Katie was such a sweet child and so were the twins.”

Myrtle shook her head and moved to squeeze Ella’s shoulder in a motherly way. “I know it isn’t your fault for being so kind and not knowing any better. I’m just ranting my frustrations.”

Ella didn’t feel better from Myrtle’s words but forced a smile nonetheless as the door opened. Zilpha, one of Myrtle’s friends, stepped in and smiled at Ella.

Albert had shot up from his post and Ella’s throat constricted as she watched him rush towards the Garrison.

Zilpha bought some bread and a few biscuits and she and Myrtle conversed lightly but Ella could feel the woman’s eyes on her.

She was waiting for the Shelby’s to come barrelling into the store, guns blazing. If they and the Lee’s were at war, she was sure that now that Zilpha had shown her face in the bakery while Albert was watching, Ella and Myrtle had just become accomplices.

“Is something wrong, _floricea_?” Ella jumped when the Lee matriarch addressed her.

“Oh,” Ella gulped and looked at Myrtle. “I was just daydreaming, ma’am. New recipes.”

The woman nodded slowly, eyes scanning Ella’s body warily. She smiled. “If you feel like it, you might bring some of your new recipes to me to taste.”

Myrtle laughed and Ella joined in, shrugging noncommittally. This woman was dangerous – an axe in a room of hens.

Zilpha greeted them and made her way outside, hopping onto a cart next to a man with part of his ear bandaged. He waved into the shop and she saw the sly smile as they pulled away.

“Myrtle, could I take a break?” Ella was already halfway out of her apron and in the back.

The look on both the gypsies’ faces had given Ella a bad feeling. Like a spider crawling down her spine and she knew by now to trust that feeling when danger was involved…


	4. Chapter 4

Albert had disappeared.

Myrtle was overjoyed but Ella knew that the only reason was because the Peaky Blinders were now sure – or thought that they were sure – of hers and Myrtle’s ‘alliance’ with the gypsies.

Ella wasn’t sure what damage they thought two bakers could do but she’d been awake all night again, listening for suspicious sounds around the building.

She’d hoped that she’d outgrown the habit but after months of peace, something ought to have happened. Ella was sure that God’s favourite way of having a laugh was peering into her life…

Myrtle had closed the store for the day – she did this once every two weeks – and so Ella had been given reign over her own day.

She had packed a basket again. A blueberry pie and some biscuits for the children. And bread.

Alfie had always said that when meeting with an enemy, to break bread with them as a peace offering. She’d wrapped it into one of her scarves and prayed over it for protection.

She wasn’t sure if the foolhardy plan of hers would even work – since she was sure that Polly Gray was a dragon disguised as a woman – but she had to try.

She couldn’t live if she thought that someone was out to get her. She’d left Camden for that exact reason and would be damned to hell if she was going to let a _gangster_ – one no different from the one’s she’d already met – send her cowering into a corner.

Watery Lane wasn’t as busy as it had been. People still noticed her but she was determined to make peace for whatever wrongdoing the Shelby’s thought she’d been involved in.

She passed a wagon parked in front of the Parlour and frowned as she heard a commotion inside. Someone was yelling and things were being broken.

Ella’s steps faltered and she glanced around nervously. The man standing by the wagon looked familiar but she couldn’t quite place him.

It was then, as she stood pondering his face, that the doors to the Parlour burst open and a dozen men carrying rifles stormed out. A man followed them out, yelling profanity while clutching his bleeding head.

“The car!” she heard one of the running men yell. “Get to the car! Show this Didicoy bastard who he messed with!”

She made eye contact with the man with the bandaged ear and her heart stopped when he smiled at her and promptly snatched open the top of the basket before stuffing a large pair of wire cutters into it.

The wagon rushed away and Ella stood stunned as everyone around her gawked at her open mouthed. She saw Finn down the street and opened her mouth to call to him but he turned and ran full speed.

Ella felt someone clamp down on her arm and struggled against the bleeding man as he dragged her inside the Parlour.

He slammed the door behind them and pulled her roughly into the room. It clearly hadn’t been made for aesthetics as everything was dark and smelled of sweat, dust and whiskey. Several walls had been knocked down to make the space bigger and everything was turned over.

“Sit down!” the man growled and Ella winced as she was shoved into a chair. He was stumbling and she winced and reached for him as he practically fell into the other chair opposite her.

She moved but he growled and pulled something up and pointed it at her head. The hammer clicked as he pulled it back and Ella’s stomach dropped.

The door burst open a second later. Ella didn’t dare move but she knew who it was. Finn had gone and fetched his family and, for some reason, they would blame her for the whole thing.

Damn those gypsies. Why did they want to implicate her at all? It was madness!

“FUCKIN’ HELL!”

Ella jumped at the outburst and so did the man in front of her. His head was gushing and he looked at someone behind her mournfully.

“All right, Scudboat, let Arthur ‘ave a look at you.” Ella swallowed at the calm tone of Thomas Shelby’s voice and her hands trembled around the handle of her basket. “Finn, go outside and play.”

“What the fuck is she doing ‘ere?” Polly was glaring and Ella stared at the ground to avoid her fiery eyes. The woman stormed forward and snatched Ella’s basket, taking it towards the back room and slamming it down on the table.

Arthur brought out a bottle of whiskey and a glass as he glanced at Scudboat’s head for a second. Ella itched to help but kept still, hoping that her cooperation could spare her.

The other two were perusing the entire room, tallying up what was missing and the damage that would need to be repaired.

“Jesus Christ.” John flicked some papers and kicked a box as he stepped back out of an office.

“What the bloody ‘ell happened ‘ere?” Arthur looked around and at his brothers.

Scudboat finished downing the whiskey. “The Lee’s; all of them. Cousins, nephews… even the bastards.”

Ella watched Thomas turn around with the wire cutters that had been shoved into her basket. He had a thoughtful look on his face and Ella’s breathing picked up.

“They’ve taken anything they can lay their hands on,” Polly was rifling through a cabinet as she spoke to the room. “Four cashboxes…”

Thomas looked up at Ella and closed the cutters, holding it up into the air. “They left these…”

“Wire cutters? I … why would they leave wire cutters?” Polly looked confused and Ella clenched her teeth as Thomas’ eyes narrowed.

“Nobody move,” Arthur gulped and looked at everyone seriously. Every man in the room had gone tense.

“I think our friends are playing the game…” Thomas looked almost rueful and Polly was losing her nerve. She noticed Ella again and her cheeks flushed with anger.

“What game?” she started storming towards the younger girl but John held out his hand.

“Aunt Pol! Don’t … touch … anything…”

“Erasmus Lee was in France.” Ella’s blood drained from her face and she kicked herself for not realising sooner.

Alfie had told her about the traps – laughing, always laughing – and she felt tears well up in her eyes. “No… oh God.”

“When we gave up ground to the Germans,” Thomas glanced at Ella and then at his aunt. Scudboat was panicking, looking around frantically. “We’d leave behind boobytraps… set up with wires. And we’d leave wire cutters, as part of the joke.”

“Somewhere in here there’s a hand grenade.” John’s words made Ella want to vomit.

“Holy Jesus!”

“Attached to a wire.” Arthur started moving towards her and Ella shuddered. “Don’t move any chairs or open any doors.”

“No.” Thomas shook his head. “Boys, no. S’not it ‘ere; if it was in ‘ere it would have blown by now. It was my name on that bullet Erasmus sent. He set up a trap alright… he set it up just for me.”

Everyone started looking around warily, thinking.

“Why were they in _her_ basket?” Polly asked angrily. “Why would they leave one of their own behind? A woman, no less…”

Ella shook her head, “No. I’m not with them. I swear it! I was coming to sort this whole mess out and that bandaged fool shoved the damned thing into my basket last minute.”

“You’re working at Myrtle Lee’s bakery.” Polly snapped. “Those Lee’s ‘ave been coming and going for weeks now and you want us to believe you…?”

“I’ve never even met any of them before I arrived here!” Ella stood sharply and everyone winced as her chair clattered to the floor. “I was only trying to help a sick child but now I see that you bastards are the most ungrateful people I’ve ever-

Her head spun as she looked around and saw everyone staring at her strangely. “Bastards…” her eyes focussed on Thomas. “Didicoy bastard. Do you have a car? They said something about a car as they were coming out…”

His mouth opened and he looked at his brothers before shoving the cutters into his brother’s hands and rushing from the room.

Ella saw John and Polly share a look and then he was storming at her. She struggled against his grip, screaming and hitting anywhere she could as he carried her through the curtained door and up a flight of stairs.

“Let go!” she elbowed his back and he grunted as he shoved her down onto a bed and wrestled her hands. “Let. Go. Of me!”

“Keep quiet!” he hissed, spitting out the matchstick between his teeth. “Fucking… I’m not gonna hurt you! Stop – fuck – stop it!”

She yanked the cap from his head, throwing it across the room and screaming louder. He growled and put a hand over her mouth, cutting the sound off.

Ella bit down with force and he cursed loudly as he let go and stepped back from her, shaking the pain out of his hand. She panted as she wiped her mouth on her arm and blew wisps of hair from her face.

“Let me go, you oaf.” She said low, eyes narrowed. He was standing between her and the door and had a gun strapped to his chest. “I have people who would know if I were to go missing… dangerous people.”

He scoffed at her and opened his mouth but a faint explosion had him rushing to the window. Ella very nearly cheered aloud as she shot up from the bed and bolted to the door.

Down the stairs, through the green doors. Arthur and Scudboat looked startled at her appearance but she ignored them and dashed for the door at the other end of the room.

She could hear John screaming and Arthur and Scudboat behind her but she kept her eyes forward, head down. She’d lost her shoes halfway down the stairs and the gravel was starting to bite into her soles.

Being held down like that had brought back a flood of bad memories.

_She lay on the bed, blood seeping beneath her skin, ribs fractured. There would be no doctor, no evidence, and now Clarence would be her grovelling lover until he lost his temper all over again. Already she could smell the aroma of fancy cooking, a meal she'd never be able to eat through the pain that cut each breath short._

Her eyes stung and her lungs were aching but she pushed harder, rounding a corner and crying out when she spotted the bakery.

“Myrtle!” she was sobbing and the older woman gasped at her appearance as she burst into the store. She fumbled with the locks at the top of the door and backed away slowly. Myrtle was quick to pull her into an embrace, ushering her through the back and up the stairs as Ella cried.

But it was more than crying, it was the kids of desolate sobbing that stemmed from a person who had been drained of all hope. She sank to her knees at the threshold of her room, not caring for the mud that dirtied her dress. The pain that flowed from her was as palpable was a frigid wind and Myrtle was at a loss for what to do.

_Battered, they called it. Such a simple word for a simple idea. But this was not simple…_

_Her sense of self, once a high and proud feeling of one destined for good things, now felt as bruised as her abdomen and as broken as the mirror she stood in front of. She wiped the dried blood from her pallid skin and stared into her own empty eyes. She barely recognized herself. Who was that in there now and why did she stay? She gazed around the now deserted apartment at the broken and strewn possessions, were they any different to herself? She stifled a sob with the scuffed palm of her hand and sunk to the floor._

“ _Clarence_!” Ella yelled, trapped in her own memories. Myrtle jumped as she hurried downstairs to fetch a cloth and some water. Ella felt the wooden floor against her cheek as she stared at the door next to her. “Please stop…”

***

News of what had happened travelled quickly; her presence at the scene as well.

This was how she found herself sat in front of two men named Campbell and Moss while Myrtle clucked around in the front of the shop. She’d been shooed away after several snide remarks towards the new Chief Inspector.

Moss was staring at the tear tracks on her cheeks and the red scratches on her arms. Campbell puffed at his pipe and looked at her as if she were an insect.

“You’re saying that our witnesses, four of them, miss Fitzpatrick, were all lying when they described you to us as being present at number six Watery Lane when an explosion happened in the garage that is owned by the Shelby family?” Moss sounded too calm; as if he were bored of his job and wished to be anywhere else.

“I’ve the flu.” She cleared her throat and shifted in her seat as Campbell’s eyes lingered on the sliver of skin near her collarbone. “Been in bed all day.”

Moss scoffed and Ella’s eye twitched with irritation. She wanted them to leave so that she could go back to bed and forget that the day had happened at all. Wanted to get away from the thoughts plaguing her mind.

“It’s highly suspect that four witnesses gave the exact same description.” Campbell rasped. His eyes were full of trouble and threats.

“Perhaps,” she snapped, glaring between the two men. “It was someone who looked like me or their memory deceives them.”

“So, you have never been to number six Watery Lane?” Moss raised a challenging brow and Ella clenched her jaw.

“I have. Twice.” She held up her fore and middle finger. “Once when I was helping a sick little girl home and another when I was bringing her sweets; but I never entered the building. I was _not_ there today, despite what your witnesses are saying, and unless you are formally charging me with a bloody crime… I would thank you to leave me in peace.”

They stared at her dumbly as she stood up and stormed from the room, hands shaking and heart fluttering. She could taste bile at the back of her mouth and rushed to the bathroom in time to lose breakfast and the previous night’s dinner.


	5. Chapter 5

Ella was bedridden for three days.

She’d developed a fever and vomiting from the stress and Myrtle was beginning to worry. Ella could hear her downstairs, banging pots and pans and cursing the Shelby name with gusto.

She’d sent a letter to her mother that reeked of fake cheer and lots of news about Myrtle. The reply had been a mix of relief and worry and Ella had felt instantly better having something tangible of her mother’s wellbeing so close.

On the fourth day, there was a commotion in front of the store and Ella dragged herself up and towards the window, peering into the street below.

Thomas Shelby was backing away from Myrtle as she waved a rolling pin at him. His eyes darted up, to Ella, and she could see the remorse in his eyes.

She scowled at him and stepped back from the window. Her legs were shaky and she her hearing fluctuated as if she was trapped in a pot that someone kept opening and closing but she made it to the front door and stepped into the bleak sunlight.

“…poor girl nearly gave me a heart attack!” Myrtle swung the pin at Thomas’ head and he ducked, eyes on Ella the whole time as she stood shivering in her nightgown. “Whatever that brother of yours did to her, he’ll have it back ten times. I’ll string him up and cut him brains to balls, I swear it.”

“Myrtle,” Ella’s voice was rough and hoarse but her boss stopped the tirade to rush towards her. “I’m fine.”

“Horse shit,” Myrtle snapped. “You’re freezing. Get back inside.”

“I don’t appreciate you coming here, Mr. Shelby.” Ella ignored the mothering and pointed a finger at the imposing man. “I had nothing to do with whatever happened with the Lee’s – and neither did Myrtle. John’s actions, and the family’s in general, speaks volumes about who you are as people.”

Thomas opened and closed his mouth a few times before sighing lightly. “I’m sorry for whatever happened. My family was threatened, my brother almost died in an explosion from the Lee’s, and we were just doing what we thought was right at the time. It’s no excuse for what John did but I _am_ sorry…”

“If you’re afraid I’ll say anything to those coppers, save your breath.” Ella scoffed and crossed her arms. “I would very much like for you to remove yourself from these premises. Have a good day.”

Myrtle helped her back inside and Ella breathed a sigh when she saw that Thomas had heeded her warnings. Myrtle fussed and fluffed her pillows and said something about soup but Ella was out even before she’d left the room.

***

Ella hummed silently as she sat paging through an old newspaper at the till. With Ella’s urging, Myrtle had gone to Wolverhampton for the weekend to visit family and they’d only had two customers since opening.

Her hair was loose and unkempt but a woman had said that the wild curls suited her and it had made her feel only slightly better about being so lazy as not to wash it.

Myrtle had resorted to feeding her watery soup – since she seemed to regurgitate anything that she had to _chew_. Ella’s nightmares had also returned and the young girl longed for her mother’s comforting presence.

Albert had been seen in front of the store a couple of times but when Myrtle had gone out to curse at him, he’d assured her that he was there to check on Ella of his own volition.

She glanced up as the bell above the door chimed and had to do a double take. Katie blinked her big blue eyes at Ella as her brothers all gathered behind her. A tall, slim woman was smiling kindly behind them all and Ella’s brows creased at the sight.

William had her basket in his arms and James and Jacob were both sporting little purple flowers in their button holes.

“Can I help you?” she tried to keep any venom from her voice as William nudged his little sister forward.

“The children wanted to stop by to see you.” the woman said with a soft voice. “I have a few… errands to run; would you mind if they visited with you for a while?”

“Lizzie said we could bring back your basket, miss Ella.” James said with a smile. “And we loved the biscuits! The chocolate ones were my favourite!”

“I liked the shortbread.” William’s face was sombre and she sighed as she motioned the little group forward. Lizzie nodded and waved gently before stepping back out of the store, looking both ways before heading out into the rain.

She took the basket from William and set it down on the floor next to her. “Did you have a speech planned or were you just going to let your sister blink at me innocently…?”

The sheepish look on his face was enough confirmation and so she waved him off as soon as he opened his mouth. James and Jacob were staring at the cake displays and Katie fiddled nervously with her frock.

“Would you like some cake?” Ella cleared her throat and saw William’s head snap up confusedly. “Myrtle burnt the outside of the first few cakes this morning but the insides are still good…”

James and Jacob were nodding vigorously and so she stood and moved towards the back where she’d stashed the cakes. She felt bad just throwing them out.

After slicing up the cakes, she carried the little plates to the front where William had herded his siblings towards the counter and were shushing them. He was very mature for his age, more mature than his uncle, and she smiled at him softly.

No matter how vile his father and uncles had been, they were innocent children who didn’t deserve her ire. “It’s not much-

“It’s perfect. Thanks.” William handed his brother’s a fork each and helped Katie onto the counter so that she could eat. Her eyes were on Ella, though, and she smiled girlishly when Ella stroked a finger down her cheek.

“Are you feeling better, Katie darling?” The little girl nodded with a mouthful of cake and Ella chuckled as she wiped crumbs from her lip. “Not too fast, or you’ll get a tummy ache.”

She watched them eat in silence. How did such lovely children survive in the world that the Shelby’s lived in? The danger that seemed to move about them in near tangible levels…

She supposed they weren’t exposed wholly to everything – or she hoped so for John Shelby’s sake. If Katie had ever been exposed to anything like hand grenades in cars and the sight of a man’s skin being slashed by a blade, he’d have hell to pay.

“Miss Ella?”

Ella hummed at Jacob in response and laughed when she spotted the chocolate stains around his mouth. “Oh, goodness, it looks like you’ve been swimming in cake!”

He giggled as she pretended to attack him with a rag and James jumped up and down, excitedly screaming that he wanted to be next. They were so funny and Ella felt her anger dissipate by a few degrees.

Surely, John Shelby wasn’t all bad if his children were such rays of sunshine in a gloomy place like Birmingham…

***

“A what?”

“Prostitute.” William gazed at her innocently. “But dad said that she’s changed and he’s going to marry her. I heard aunt Pol and uncle Tommy talking about it though… they think it’s a bad idea.”

“And what do you think?” Ella was busy locking up the store. Lizzie Stark still hadn’t returned from her errand and Ella was finding it more suspicious the more William told her about the woman.

“I think dad could do better than someone who let men use her.” William looked up as if he could see his siblings napping in her bed. “Katie’s too young to remember mum and I don’t want her growing up hearing that the woman she called mum used to be a whore.”

Ella stared at him and shook her head with a laugh. “You are the most grown up eight-year-old I’ve ever come across.”

He blushed and shifted uncomfortably. She knew why he was that way. His mother had died when he was only three and he’d grown up having to look after his siblings while his father was away at war.

Katie had been born in February of 1914 – her father, so broken by the loss of his wife, had volunteered for the war no more than eight months later. It saddened Ella to know that while Polly made sure that the children ate and bathed, it was Will who made sure his brothers and sister were cared for emotionally.

William grunted as he was pulled into Ella’s chest. She was tearing up again and laughed a little when William pushed her away and crossed his arms defiantly. “I’ll have none of that crying, miss Ella… or you’ll owe me a piece of cake a day!”

She ruffled his hair playfully. The glass door rattled as someone knocked and Ella’s smile faltered as she spotted Lizzie waiting on the other side. “I’ll go wake them.”

***

Ella glared at the cart and horse that pulled up in front of the store. Myrtle touched her shoulder placatingly as Zilpha Lee stepped into the store with the bandaged man called Erasmus.

Erasmus looked like a chastised child behind his matriarch. She wore black again and bore a bouquet of purple hyacinth’s. Ella rolled her eyes as she thought about the large bouquet of flowers in the trashcan outside and sighed. Finn had delivered them with a note – a note! – but she hadn’t even looked at it sideways before chucking the whole thing into the bin.

“ _Pace, floricea_.” Zilpha handed the flowers to Myrtle. “My cousin has a few words…”

Myrtle eyed Ella warily but allowed Erasmus to step forward, hat clutched between white-knuckled hands. “Apologies, miss. Was wrong of me to do what I did and I’ve no excuse but a black heart and a nasty sense of humour.”

Ella scoffed and looked at Zilpha. They couldn’t be serious…?

“It’s the truth.” The woman cocked her head. “We never meant for you to be involved. Erasmus has a fascination with fucking up in the most horrendous ways…”

“Fucking up?” Ella laughed dryly and chucked a scone at the gypsy man’s head. “He put a target on my back and almost got a boy killed!”

Myrtle flinched but Zilpha only laughed. “He has been sorted out accordingly for his misdeeds towards you, _floricea_. We only want peace now that peace has been made between us and the Shelby’s.”

Ella growled in frustration and Myrtle held her hands out to stop the younger girl from launching herself at Zilpha. “Let’s all just settle! Ella, please.”

Ella sat down on the chair behind the till angrily and grimaced at her boss.

“How did this come about, surată?” Myrtle asked after a few moments of silence.

“We came to an agreement.” Zilpha said bluntly and Ella saw the look that Erasmus shared with his cousin. “This is also one of the reasons we came. There will be a celebration of the two families coming together as a united front, you’re both invited.”

Ella doubled herself up and burst into a loud harsh cackle of laughter. “Of course! I’ll just make nice with the one group of people who’ve been awful to me from the onset… right!”

Myrtle silenced her with a look and sighed as she squeezed her friends’ arm gently. “While I agree with Ella, it would make me happy to share your peace.”

Ella exhaled exhaustedly.


	6. Chapter 6

She was sure that Polly wasn’t going to be happy with her presence but Myrtle was eager to go and Ella wanted the apologies that had been promised to her.

It had taken two days of convincing from Myrtle for her to agree to the whole thing. The celebration would be held where the Lee’s all lived and Ella had been instructed to dress warmly since Myrtle still thought she’d whither if she caught a breeze.

She’d been leant a thick wool coat out of Myrtle’s wardrobe to go with the violet beret that covered her head. Ella felt like a six-year-old with an anxious mother but endured it for Myrtle’s benefit.

 “No drinking tonight.” Myrtle said and Ella scoffed. Her fingers twitched lightly.

“If I’m to breathe the same air as the Shelby’s _and_ Lee’s, I’ll need at least six glasses of clean gin.” She waited for her boss to lock the door behind them as she clipped her purse after making sure the revolver was still tucked inside.

She’d left it behind the one time she’d actually _needed_ the protection and wasn’t about to make that mistake again.

“If you get sick again, girl, I will put my boot up your behind!” Myrtle put her keys away and picked up the packed basket of sweets and cakes she’d made especially for the occasion.

“I’m much better than I was.” Ella picked at a thread at her sleeve as they smiled at Mrs. Blake in passing. “And perhaps the drink would allow me to sleep without disruption.”

The rest of the walk was quiet and she knew that Myrtle was rethinking her decision to let Ella come along. She knew that the older woman could hear her waking up, panting and whimpering at night. It filled her heart with guilt because Ella refused any help and wouldn’t talk about it at all.

“Oi!” A car sputtered to a stop behind them and Ella turned to look before rolling her eyes. The eldest Shelby was smiling at them, arm slung across the back of the seat. “Hop in, I’ll drive you.”

“No, thank you.” Ella stubbornly turned around and crossed her arms.

“It’s a long walk to the party.” Arthur hopped out of the car and took the basket from Myrtle before she could protest. Ella’s grip on her purse tightened as he held the door open for them. “Come on, I’ll behave.”

Ella doubted that he even knew the same meaning of behaving as she did. It was nearly a thirty-minute walk and Ella’s bones were tired.

Myrtle and her basket were quickly helped into the back and Ella sat as far away as possible from Arthur as he started up the car again and set off down the street.

“You look nice.” Arthur cleared his throat uncomfortably. Ella’s nose scrunched and she fought the urge to roll her eyes at him.

“Will the kids be there tonight?” she hadn’t seen them for two days and had started missing them.

“No.” Arthur glanced at her with a half-smile. “Finn’s upset that he has to babysit tonight but we don’t want to risk any of them gettin’ hurt.”

“That’s the first sensible thought I’d bet you lot’ve had in a while.” Myrtle grumbled. Arthur’s shoulders tensed and Ella hoped he wouldn’t do anything rash towards her friend but he just shook his head and tightened his grip on the wheel.

Ella could see Arthur itching to talk to her but she kept her face turned away and her arms crossed. He wasn’t _as_ guilty as his brother but she’d lumped him in with the rest on principal alone.

They pulled up to a lot and Ella glanced around curiously. Caravans stood in what must have been organised to the people living in them. She could see several fires with pots hanging over them and clothes hanging from ropes between trees. Dirty, half-naked children were running around screaming at each other in Romani.

It was different but she wasn’t going to judge them. It wasn’t her place. She was here for Myrtle.

She spotted Zilpha near a dais with Thomas Shelby and another man she didn’t recognise. John was talking to his aunt not too far away and all of them looked up as Arthur helped her and Myrtle out of the car.

“We’re a bit early, then, are we?” Myrtle commented offhandedly, hitching the basket onto her hip and approaching the heads of the two families.

“Myrtle.” Thomas greeted cordially. Ella nearly giggled as the last time they’d faced off flashed through her mind – Thomas should have been glad that Myrtle didn’t have a rolling pin.

Ella tugged at her coat and followed Arthur closer. Polly was eyeing her up and down like she was looking for a threat so Ella clenched her jaw and patted her purse as she made eye contact with the older woman.

Her thin eyebrows shot up and Ella fought off a smug grin as she stopped next to Myrtle, who’d been busy handing over the basket to Zilpha.

“I’m happy to see you, _floricea_.” The gypsy woman grinned and Ella nodded at her. She’d asked Myrtle about the nickname and had laughed as her mother loved to call her ‘flower’ as well.

“Thank you for inviting me.” Her eyes flitted to Thomas. “I’ve thought long and hard and I’m willing to bury any grievances on the condition that one of you goes on their knees.”

She heard Arthur choke behind her and Thomas scoffed at her as if she were a child asking to play with a pistol. “You have a lovely sense of humour, miss Fitzpatrick. No one who’s grown up ‘round these parts would ever speak to me like that.”

“I spent three days vomiting into a pot and waking up screaming because of you lot. You’ve apologised, sent your kids round to soften me up and keep me quiet.” She cocked her head and narrowed her eyes. “I _have_ grown up around people like you. I know what you’re capable of, seen it with my own eyes, and _trust me_ when I tell you that I’ve been as kind and patient with you all as I can manage, Mr. Shelby.”

Everyone around them was as silent as the dead. Those calculating blue eyes bore into her own as they sized each other up. Thomas Shelby had never had someone mouth off to him and any other person would have had a razor struck at them. His mouth twitched, and Ella was sure he was fighting a smile.

It was Polly that surprised everyone by bursting out into laughter. “Christ, now I think I’ve seen it all!”

***

Ada was the only Shelby that Myrtle didn’t speak about with venom in her voice. Fiery and standoffish towards the best of them; smart as a whip too. But she’d gone behind her brothers’ backs and married a communist named Freddie Thorne.

If Ada Shelby – Thorne – was ballsy enough to defy her brothers, then she was ace in Ella’s books. They were sat together at a table, sipping whiskey as they watched everyone dance and sing together.

Ada had come on her brother’s invitation and she and Ella had immediately hit it off when they’d started trading stories. Ada had many strong opinions and found arguing with Ella about them much more fun than she’d ever had with another woman her own age.

It was well into the night. Ella had stayed true to her promise to Myrtle about not drinking but Ada was much less abstinent. Weeks spent cooped up had seen her loose grip on her already precarious control.

She was giggling and her face was flushed and sweaty. Ella had pulled her away from dancing not five minutes ago, worrying about what the state she was in would do to the baby.

“Join me for a dance, Ella!” Ada jumped up and tugged at Ella’s hands. “Come on, dance with me!”

“Ada, slow down.” Ella whispered but was waved off. Ada started spinning with a Lee cousin as the music picked up. She noticed John and Arthur hovering close-by and grunted as someone yanked around her waist and started spinning her around as well.

The three whiskey’s she’d had seemed to all rush to her head at once and she huffed as she clung to the man’s shoulders and closed her eyes against the nausea.

She roughly yanked the man to a stop and hung onto him as her stomach twisted. She stumbled to the corner of the lot, and with each step her stomach tightened and ached more. She kept swallowing, and her throat kept clenching.

Myrtle had rushed over and Ella could hear her asking something but Ella just shook her head and forced the sick down. Water was shoved into her hands and she glanced up at Arthur thankfully as she gulped it down.

Myrtle yanked the coat from her body and shoved it at Arthur as she started fanning Ella with her hands. “God, I knew you should’ve stayed! Look at the state of you…”

Arthur withered under the older woman’s glare as Ella was pulled over to a table where Zilpha and Thomas sat, watching Ada make a spectacle of herself.

Arthur hung her coat over the back of her chair before ambling off towards his brother, who was dancing with a pretty dark-haired girl in a peach coloured dress.

“I’m fine, Myrtle.” Ella batted at both Myrtle and Zilpha. “Just not as used to whiskey as I used to be.”

Thomas raised an eyebrow at her and Polly came bustling over. “You should tell Ada to slow down.”

Thomas scoffed, dragging at his cigarette. “You think she’ll listen to me?”

“I tried stopping her, but she’d been drinking.” Ella said and leaned forward to grab one of the cigarettes laying between Thomas and Zilpha.

She didn’t often smoke but Alfie had convinced her a few times and she found it to be an enjoyable way to hold a conversation sometimes.

“Been stuck in that little basement for weeks. What do we expect?” Polly sipped at a glass of wine and shook her head. Ada swirled and giggled, whooping loudly. “She’s going off like a firecracker… oh, Christ, Tommy please!”

He watched Arthur trying to tame their sister for a moment before rising to his feet. Myrtle and Zilpha shared a look and Ella shifted forward in her seat. She had an anxious feeling in the pit of her stomach.

“Alright, Ada, come on. Have a rest, sit down.” Thomas held out a hand to his sister and Ada’s feet faltered just as her smile did.

“Ella, come have a look!” she looked around her brother and Ella stood up, snuffing her cigarette. “Come and look at the man who runs this family! Hunts his own sister down like a rat and he tries to kill his own brother-in-law!”

“Ada, that’s enough.” Arthur held Ella’s wrist to keep her away from the raging young woman. Polly joined them to pull at Ada’s swatting hands.

“And now he won’t even let me have a fucking dance!”

“Ada,” Ella said placatingly and she saw the girls’ eyes glaze over as she started panting. “Calm down. Breathe…”

The girl heaved and Ella pulled away from Arthur as she saw the first trickles of liquid at Ada’s feet.

“Holy shit, water!” Polly looked around in panic.

Ella gasped as everyone around them exploded. It was chaos as the four Shelby’s started clucking. Ada swatted at them and Ella grabbed her coat as she rushed behind.

“Where’re you going?” Myrtle yelled but was ignored. Zilpha chuckled and shook her head.

“Barely known each other a few hours and already rushing to help.”

“Christ knows Ella needs more friends… even if it means a Shelby.” Myrtle sighed and swallowed the wine Polly had left behind in one gulp.

***

Ella could hear Ada’s screaming and hurried John along. The car, borrowed from one of the Lee men, jerked and shuddered to a stop.

She slapped John’s arm, clutching her heart, as Arthur opened the door and helped her out by her waist. She rushed up the pavement and saw Polly beckoning her inside insistently.

“What do you need?”

“Nothing now.” The woman said, Ada screamed again from upstairs. “Just go sit with her while the water heats up.”

Ella glanced around for something to do. There were blankets piled in the far corner of the room and she flipped through them for one small enough to fit a baby before carrying it over to the fire and hanging it over the back of a chair.

When Polly spilled the bowl of water, she told the woman not to worry about it and went downstairs to refill it.

“Ella, I need a hand!” Polly screamed and Ella puffed all the way up the stairs. “I need you to keep pushing on her stomach…”

She smiled apologetically at Ada and when the woman contracted, Ella touched the bottom of her stomach and frowned. “Polly, I think it might be the wrong way around.”

Ada screamed again and Ella brushed her hair from her face as Polly scowled, hands searching. “Yeah, I think you’re right.”

“Lean her forward.” Ella pulled at Ada’s arm and rubbed the girl’s lower back as Polly uttered encouraging words. “Push, Ada… two, three!”

Polly’s gaze was burning the side of her face but she only focussed on her given task. Finally, with the last push, Ella cried out in triumph as the cord was cut with a pocket knife from Polly’s boot.

Ella took the baby while Ada delivered the afterbirth and Polly wiped her face with the cloth. Praising her niece on a job well done.

He was wailing by the time Ella made it to the blanket near the fire, Polly on her heels. Ella was methodical as she patted the baby’s back to get any excess fluids out of his lungs and clean all the blood off his face and hair.

“You’ve done this before.” Polly’s voice was so quiet that Ella almost missed it.

She hummed lightly in response. “I had a friend who was a midwife… worked with her a few times when she was shorthanded.”

She could feel Polly itching to handle the baby and chuckled as she stepped back and allowed the woman to swaddle him. He was pink all over and his tiny fingers curled around his aunt’s as she rubbed a thumb across his forehead.

“I’ll go make some tea.” Ella whispered, helping Ada into a chair. Her face was still sweaty and tired but she smiled at Ella widely as they made eye contact.

She watched the water boil, ruminating on the events of the night. Polly and Ada were cooing over the baby. He was cooing right back and Ada hadn’t stopped crying tears of happiness since setting eyes on him.

Ella took off her shoes and loaded up the tray with cups she’d gathered from the cabinet behind Polly and Ada. It was quiet for a while until someone started banging on the door.

“Ada! Come on, open up!”

Ella looked up at the man barrelling into the room and smiled. First time fathers were such panicky creatures but the love shining on his face was bright as day…

“It’s a boy, Freddie.” Ella and Polly watched, side by side, as Freddie lifted his hands to his mouth and stared at his new son.

“It’s a beautiful baby boy.” He took the baby gingerly. Ella knew that Freddie would gladly die for mother and son from the look on his face. It was a serenely heart-warming picture. “There you go. Welcome to the world son…”

“ _May strong arms hold you, caring hearts tend you and may love await you at every step_.” Ella whispered and Polly chuckled and patted her shoulder in thanks.

She and Polly had come to a silent agreement, just then. Ada and the baby had now become their binding element; a common cause, so to speak.

Everyone jumped in shock when someone else started banging on the door. “Open up! Police!”

Ella rushed forward; trying to fight off the officers but she was banged against the wall. She heard the baby start crying and Polly yelling at them.

Freddie was slammed into a door and Ella watched in horror as they dragged him away without any sense of remorse. Ada’s cries only spurred on the tears streaming down the blonde’s face and she felt like spitting at the officers.

“I’ll kill that fucking brother of yours.” Ella heard Polly hiss and turned, wide-eyed as the woman in question stormed past


	7. Chapter 7

Ella hadn’t heard a word about Ada since leaving the house that night. Myrtle assured her that Polly would look after Ada and the baby but that they shouldn’t interfere in family business.

Thomas was enemy number one in Polly’s books; Ella knew as much from the look in his eyes when she’d passed him on the way back from the market. He hadn’t acknowledged her beyond a simple nod but he’d had sadness in his eyes.

William made a point of it, however, to bring his siblings in every day to see her. She’d made a space in the corner of the shop for Katie and the twins to keep themselves busy and William helped behind the till.

Myrtle had warmed to the idea of them after the second day – after Katie had hugged the old woman’s legs and complemented her dress.

She now laughed with the children as often as Ella did. Seeing the lightness in Myrtle’s eyes was enough of a reward for having flour thrown into her hair by James when she hadn’t been paying attention.

“Miss Ella, can I ask you something?” William fiddled with his hat as he waited for a reply.

“What is it?”

“Can you cook?”

Myrtle sniggered and Ella tossed a cloth at her. She’d only burnt the stew once and now Myrtle refused to let her cook at all. “Why do you ask, Will?”

He glanced at his brothers and sister as he formulated his sentence and Ella petted his hair patiently. She’d grown so attached to these children in such a brief time that it sometimes scared her.

“Well, we wanted to invite you over for dinner, just the six of us, but Dad can’t cook and I’m not allowed to.” Ella’s eyes widened and Myrtle choked on the sip of water she’d just taken.

“Oh, darling.” Ella hugged William to her chest. “Why would you want silly old me over for dinner?”

“Because you’re fun!” James crooned from the corner.

Katie clapped her hands excitedly. “And we like you loads!”

Myrtle laughed and Ella felt bad for William. He didn’t know that she was angry at John and his brothers – not as much anymore but enough to want to avoid having dinner with any of them.

“Don’t you think you should talk to your father first?” Myrtle said and Ella shot her a look. Myrtle had warned her _against_ the Shelby’s and now she was encouraging the son of one to have his father invite her for dinner…?

“I’m sure that John is a very busy man, _Myrtle_.” Ella looked back down at William and cupped his cheeks. “You see enough of me during the day and I’m sure that my cooking would kill you; perhaps when I’ve learned a bit more, eh?”

He nodded his head glumly and Ella’s heart broke as he moved away from her and gathered his siblings. She hated to see them upset but she wasn’t sure if having dinner with their father was a wise move.

“You know,” Ella crossed her arms and glared at Myrtle’s words. “I think those children love you.”

“Shut it, you.” Ella picked up the box of Crayola Crayons that she’d bought from the market and the crumpled pieces of old newspaper that they’d been doodling on.

Katie had surrounded her entire side with flowers and hearts and the boys had had a jolly old time just scribbling over the text.

“No shame in it.” Myrtle said. “The sins of the father do not rest on the shoulders of the child but I’m telling you now, Eleanor Fitzpatrick, that you’ll be burning stew at John Shelby’s house before the week is up.”

***

Ella pulled her coat closer to her body before stepping inside the Garrison. It was a quiet night, with only a few patrons milling about the place.

Grace smiled at Ella as she set her purse on top of the bar and ordered another gin and tonic. “No chaperone tonight?”

Ella scoffed. She hadn’t seen Albert in weeks but she was beyond wondering about him for a while now. “It is a woman’s single greatest accomplishment when she doesn’t need a man as an excuse to go out drinking.”

Grace cheered her and Ella glanced around at the people inside the bar to pass the time. It was strange being there in the quiet and she almost wished someone would pull her up on a table and make her sing.

“Did you hear?” Grace came back to her end and leaned her elbows against the bar top. “We had a phone put in.”

Ella chuckled and glanced at the space Grace had indicated. Alfie had a phone put in his office just months before she’d left and silently cheered that she’d be able to call him now – she had his number written down somewhere.

“Has it been used much?” Ella finished her drink and ordered another. Tomorrow was the biweekly shut down and so Ella didn’t have to worry so much about getting up early.

“Not very much.” Grace chuckled. “I’ve only used it twice myself…”

“Family?”

“And a friend once.” Grace nodded. “It’s a strange thing for most people here and half of them already talk to everyone important daily.”

Ella hummed in agreement and laughed when Grace hushed a persistent customer and excused herself to go help him. She heard the door open and saw Thomas enter without a look around.

Grace gathered a bottle of whiskey and a glass and made her way into the snug behind him. She wasn’t there long but when she came back, her mouth was pulled down.

“He comes in every night and drinks himself into a stupor.” Grace commented quietly at Ella’s enquiring gaze. “I’m starting to worry.”

She hadn’t been aware that Grace held so much affection for the man and smiled into her glass. Ella watched the door of the snug and wiggled her nose a few times before taking her drink and sauntering over. Curiosity had always been her biggest vice…

He didn’t look up when she stepped into the smoky room and she scoffed lightly as she nearly slammed her glass against the table.

“I helped birth your nephew, Mr. Shelby, the least you could do is acknowledge me.”

“What is it you want, exactly, miss Fitzpatrick?” he sounded bored and looked up at her from underneath thick lashes, lips curled around a cigarette. “I don’t have time for strange women cursing at me; I have enough of them in the family.”

Ella crossed her ankles and regarded him coolly. “I’m not here to curse at you. If you don’t want the company, just say so.”

“I’ve been told that William wanted you over for dinner.” He flicked his ash into the little tray and Ella leaned forward to pick up the little silver case next to his glass.

He watched her remove a cigarette and a match and light it. His eyes danced and she smiled at him wryly whilst she wondered what he was like before France. Her own experiences warned her that he and pre-war Thomas most probably were two wildly different people.

“I’m sure your nephew tells you lots of things about me. How lovely of you to have found a new spy, Thomas.”

He shook his head at her and she laughed softly, sipping her drink as she watched the cherry of her cigarette glow in the dimness of the room.

“It’s not my orders they’re following, miss Fitzpatrick.” Thomas cleared his throat. “My brother has got it in his head that he needs to keep an eye on you; make sure you’re safe.”

Ella scoffed. “I’m sure his fiancée isn’t too happy about that.”

“Lizzie?” Thomas was the one to laugh now. “Oh, he broke that off a week ago. Found out she wasn’t as… true as she had him believe.”

William hadn’t mentioned that. She supposed he didn’t need to but it wasn’t a shock. Why talk about the woman who had hurt your father…?

“John’s always felt guilt more than the rest of us and having his son with you during the day is his way of apologising for scaring you and thanking you for Ada.” Thomas lit another cigarette and offered her one too – since her first had burned away while they’d been talking.

“Speaking of Ada…” She cleared her throat. “How is she? I haven’t heard any news since the celebration…”

“I’d have thought Katie would have told you all the whisperings she’s heard around the house. Always been the most enthusiastic informant, that one.” Thomas chuckled. “I’ve no news about Ada besides that she’s still alive but won’t eat any of the food Polly takes her.”

Stress. Ella sighed and took another long drag of the cigarette. “She’s just scared. For herself and the baby… for Freddie.”

Thomas’ eyes hardened and Ella held out a placating hand. “I had no part in his arrest, miss Fitzpatrick.”

“Call me Ella, please.” She blinked at him. “And I believe you. You may be a gangster but I believe, that when it comes to your family, you are a man of your word.”

He sat, processing her words for the longest time. Ella relished in the silence, swirling her G&T around the glass lazily.

“ _Do_ you cook?” Ella laughed at his words and delighted in the tug of his lips for a moment before the door to the snug opened and his brothers stepped in.

Arthur hadn’t noticed her and was still laughing even as John’s face fell and he glanced between his brother and Ella.

“About time. Meeting started fifteen minutes ago, boys…” Thomas commented. Arthur’s attention finally settled on the room and Ella shifted under his curious gaze.

“That is my cue.” She raised her glass at Thomas and finished it off as she snubbed her cigarette. “Gentlemen.”

John was slow to move out of the way and Ella raised an eyebrow at him as he stared down at her with a dumbfounded look. His lips were parted slightly; for a moment Ella imaged how easy it would have neem to lean forward and kiss the corner of his mouth.

He smelled like cigarettes and alcohol; the way broken people did. They found dipping themselves into alcohol to be the only way to forget about their mistakes, and to stay away from cleaning up their mess.

“Tell Will I’ll need him in the shop early tomorrow…” she whispered, aware of his brothers’ stares on her back. “I feel like divulging my entire sad backstory and I’m sure you’d love the retelling.”

John seemed shocked at her words, stepping back and blinking at her as his lips pulled into a thin line. Thomas chuckled.

***

William brought in a bouquet of flowers for the next three days and Ella joked that she had no more space on her bureau.

He promised that his father had given up on asking about her and that the children were only there because they wanted to be. She trusted him.

“My grandfather’s in town.” William said with a frown as he stood next to her; she was showing him how to shape knotted breads.

“I take it he’s not very welcome.” She corrected the braid and smiled at him proudly.

“Finn says uncle Tommy and aunt Pol are mad at him.” William sighed. “He hasn’t been around for a long time and dad says he abandoned the family after Finn was born.”

She heard James laugh and peered up to check on him. “I don’t know my grandparents either.” She pointed a warning finger at the oldest twin and he deflated next to his smug brother.

“Why?”

Ella shrugged and handed Myrtle the finished loaves as she came back up with the ones that had just come out of the oven. “Thanks, Myrtle.”

She only got a grunt and something about paperwork as the old woman shuffled off to the office.

“Do you think about them?” William watched her deposit the breads in the displays.

Ella hummed as she thought about it. “I do, sometimes. I’ve never known them, though, so I wouldn’t know to miss them.”

“That’s sad.”

She laughed at his observation and kissed the top of his head. The door opened and she halted when she noticed John glancing around the shop nervously.

“Daddy!” Katie jumped up from her seat and flung herself at his legs. “Come look at my pictures!”

He smiled at her warmly and allowed her to tug him over to the little table where James and Jacob were arguing over the red crayon.

Ella listened to him praise his daughter and admonish his boys and her heart softened towards him again. Rough exterior, squishy centre.

“Dad, has he left?” William asked and Ella cleared her throat when John turned around and caught her staring.

“He’s still around, Will.” John rolled the matchstick between his teeth and met Ella’s stare. “Tommy’s not happy.”

Will’s shoulders sagged and he pouted as he picked up the bag with his batch of biscuits from behind the counter. He’d been so proud of himself when Ella had helped him take them out of the oven.

“Remember Katie’s crown.” Ella pointed at the coloured-in newspaper crown that she’d helped Katie make that morning. It had been left next to the till while she played with her brothers. “And what time should I bring ‘round tonight’s desert?”

William frowned at her in confusion. She laughed and ruffled his dark hair before pointing at the Eccles cakes she’d bought from Myrtle early that morning.

“I can’t cook but I can provide sweets and Myrtle’s beef stew is wonderful.” She heard John choke and glanced up at him through her lashes. “I mean, if that’s all right with your father…”

“You mean…” William’s face broke out into a wide grin and he launched at her for a hug. “You’ll have dinner with us?”

“It’s the least I can do for your help around the store, love.” She laughed as the twins and Katie joined the hug as well. “And I’ve realised that I need to get out of the house more…”

“Dad, can she?” William turned to his father and Ella held her breath for his answer.

He looked between his eldest son and the woman that had been plaguing his thoughts ever since he’d seen her laughing and dancing with his sister and nodded dumbly.

She blushed and smiled at John as William pulled away and danced around the still hugging group excitedly. Katie tugged at Ella’s dress and held up her arms to be picked up.

“What is it, Katie darling?”

“Can you come early and make my hair like yours?” Ella felt the little girl touch her loose curls lightly. “Pretty.”

“Katie-

“I’d love to.” Ella cut John off with a look. “Every little princess deserves to have pretty hair. Is it alright if I come ‘round at three, John?”

He gaped at her and looked at his daughter’s hopeful face before nodding silently. Katie wriggled her way out of Ella’s arms and happily skipped towards her father, grasping his hand and grinning up at him.

“I’ll see you at three then.” She petted the twins’ heads and watched the little family leave. Behind her, Myrtle appeared and hummed knowingly with her arms crossed over her chest


	8. Chapter 8

Ella was nervous as she ambled down the street towards the Shelby Parlour. She’d assumed that it was where she was meant to have dinner with her young friends and their father and hoped by all that was holy, that the rest of the Shelby’s were elsewhere.

She’d left her hair down and the lovely dress that Myrtle had let her borrow had done wonders for her mood. White and long with little blue and pink flowers – Myrtle had laughed and said that it had been a wedding gift.

The style was a bit old fashioned but Ella didn’t care because it was a lovely pattern. It swished around her knees and the cap sleeves reminded her of those films with the glamourous actresses.

She paused for a moment before knocking on the door and waited as she heard a commotion from upstairs. Several pairs of feet were running and she could hear James and Jacob yelling at each other about who was going to open the door.

It was John who opened it, however. His sons stood grinning at her with their hands tucked neatly behind their backs.

“Did you actually have them comb their hair?” she giggled and John cleared his throat nervously as she stepped inside. He was sans familiar matchstick and smelled like soap instead of whiskey. “Where can I put this?”

“Will, take it to the kitchen.” John hadn’t taken his eyes off her. She glowed in the dress and his throat constricted painfully. “Katie’s upstairs; third door to the right. Been asking for you since two…”

She nodded and hugged the twins quickly before dancing up the stairs. He was left breathless before catching his sons’ eyes and shaking himself out of his thoughts.

She hated him; was just there for his kids.

Ella knocked on the door and entered to find Katie sitting on the bed with an excited grin on her face. Her hair was wrapped in a big, lopsided towel and Ella giggled.

“Daddy gave us all a bath!” the little girl scooted up on the bed. “James and Jacob were chasin’ each other ‘round the street and they were so dirty, Ella! It was funny.”

Ella pulled out the thick strips of cloth she’d made from an old, hole-ridden pillow case and ran her fingers gently through Katie’s wet hair.

Her eyes trailed around the room and she realised that it was the same room that John had dragged her into on her last time near Watery Lane. She frowned at the back of Katie’s head and reminded herself that she was here for the children and wouldn’t make a scene.

Katie chatted her ear off while she set about drying the girls’ hair before wrapping up sections of it into the cloth. They’d take the whole night to dry before they could remove it and so Ella lifted Katie onto her hip and made her way downstairs where she could hear John talking.

“Dada, look!” Katie squealed as they entered the room. John looked around and smiled at the sight of his daughter with white cloth sticking up all over her head and a wide grin on her precious face.

“They’ll be ready to take out in the morning, Mr. Shelby.” Ella put Katie into a chair and sat down next to her. “I hope you don’t mind taking them out tomorrow morning or you could ask your Aunt.”

“You can call me by my name.” he rolled his tongue over his teeth. “And I don’t mind…”

She nodded and looked around to avoid those blue eyes. They were darker than his brother’s, which could make any woman weep with just the right look. John’s eyes, somehow, were much deeper and his emotions were much more forthcoming.

William sensed the tension in the room and quickly started a conversation about the customers that came into the bakery. Ella was very grateful for the boy’s intuitive nature and happily laughed along as she avoided John’s eyes.

They ate a little while later. Everyone complemented the thick beef stew and Ella promised to share their praise with Myrtle.

When the Eccles cakes were passed around, Ella carefully enquired about the betting shop, since she was itching to know more about how the Shelby’s were still running an illegal betting shop with a man like Campbell in town.

“We’re working on getting a licence from a man named Kimber.” John watched her nod and cocked his head.

“I’ve actually met him.” She wrinkled her nose. “Nasty man but I wouldn’t dare say it to his face. Acts like a child most of the time when he doesn’t get his way…”

“Where did you meet him?” John leant forward and she knew he had just smelled business.

“Worcester at New Year’s.” She fiddled with the knife next to her plate. “I’d gone with a friend on a business meeting and he’d tried to seduce me the whole time. Alfie had wanted to gut him…”

John blinked at her as she laughed at the memory, James and Jacob joining in over-exaggeratedly. She felt Katie’s head against her shoulder and glanced down to find the little girl slumped down, mouth open in a little ‘o’.

“Goodness… I think she might’ve overeaten and gone into a coma.” The twins laughed again and she manoeuvred herself so she could lift Katie into her arms but John was suddenly there and told her not to worry.

“Will, you’ve all had a long day.” John said. “I think you should all go up to bed.”

The twins protested all the way to the stairs but with a promise from Ella that they could help her decorate sugar biscuits the next day, they were racing past their father to wash their faces and get into bed.

William hugged her for a long while and she petted his head as she felt tears in her eyes. This little boy had wriggled his way into her heart – right next to Katie and the twins.

“Thanks.” He whispered as he pulled away and she bent down to kiss his forehead before nudging him towards the stairs. She didn’t want to risk bursting into tears in front of him.

She gathered the containers that the stew and Eccles cakes had been in and rinsed them off in the sink to compose herself. She heard John clomp down the stairs but didn’t turn around; afraid of her reaction now that they were alone.

“Thanks for dinner.” He put down their plates next to her. “I’ll clean that up.”

“How gentlemanly of you.” she teased and cleared her throat as their eyes finally met. She dried her hands on a tea towel and stepped back to face him fully. “Thank you for allowing me to have dinner with you all…”

He smiled and she saw a blush colour his face. She wasn’t sure but he looked almost as nervous to be alone with her as she was.

“This Alfie… you don’t mean Solomons?” he asked and she clenched her jaw.

“I do.”

The look on his face put her guard up immediately but the light laugh that left his lips confused her. She crossed her hands and waited for him to finish.

“How does a girl like you know a man like _that_?”

She scoffed and narrowed her eyes. “A girl like me? What kind of girl do you think I am, exactly, John?”

He sobered quickly and she grew inwardly smug at her ability to render him speechless. She sucked her teeth and angrily gathered her things and made her way towards the door but his hand on her wrist stopped her. She glared at him over her shoulder.

“Kind.” He let go of her and rubbed the back of his neck. “Kind to the children of the man who was horrible to you. So, kind that she helped his sister birth his nephew and brave enough to stand up against Tommy.”

She didn’t know what to say and so she stayed quiet as she watched him work through several different emotions.

“And you’re beautiful enough to be a movie star and you have a mean punch and I still have welts from your nails.” He stepped forward. “I didn’t mean it as an insult… I was just curious.”

“You still haven’t apologised to my face, you know.” She whispered, drunk on the intense look in his eyes.

“I didn’t know how.” He laughed humourlessly. “You rejected Tommy and I didn’t want to repeat the whole thing.”

She scowled at the floor. Their feet were almost touching and Ella wondered silently at the image it made; polished black leather shoes in a sharp contrast to her own white ones.

“I didn’t reject Thomas’ apology.” She glanced back up at him. “I was just mad as hell and half delirious from dehydration.”

“You were sick.” It wasn’t a question. Thomas had told him and he’d sent his son to make sure she was better; that the bags under her eyes had gotten better and the shake of her hands had stopped.

“It’s not the first time.” She didn’t need to explain herself and saw his eyes widen at her implication. “Trust me, John, you are not the first man to have me in a state and the only reason you still have your balls attached is because I don’t want trouble with your family.”

His mouth twitched and he lifted his hand to gently tuck back some of the hair that had come loose during her angry packing. “I am sorry for manhandling you like a filthy brute, Ella Fitzpatrick. I promise it’ll never happen again and I’d beg you to consider letting me keep my balls…”

And then he offered her a smile that just seemed so genuinely sweet with just the right touch of shyness that unexpected warmth rushed through her veins.

***

There was an air about Polly Gray that could make dogs go as mad they did before big storms. Ella hardly had to look up to know the woman was analysing her from the door to the shop.

William had gone out to the market with Myrtle for lunch foods and Katie was upstairs napping. James and Jacob always put up a fight – saying they were too old for naps – so she sent them back to the betting shop to tire out their father.

“Anything for you today, Mrs. Gray?” Ella said dully. She scratched out a couple of Myrtle’s counting errors and shook her head exasperatedly.

“I need your help.”

Ella’s head snapped up and she would have laughed aloud, were it not for the dead serious expression on Polly’s face. Her shoulders and the skin around her eyes were as tense as bowstrings.

“With what, exactly?” Ella pushed the pencil behind her ear and stood with her arms on her hips.

“Ada.” The woman walked forward and set her palms flat on the counter. “She’s not been talking to me. Refuses to open the door and she’s been starving herself.”

Ella sighed and resisted the urge to pinch the bridge of her nose and scream. “And you think she’ll open up for me? She’ll know it was you who sent me…”

“She’ll know what you tell her.” Polly said. “Tell her you followed me and waited for me to leave before going down.”

Ella weighed her options as she and Polly stared at each other with narrowed eyes. She knew Ada would push her away if she knew that Polly was waiting for news but the need to check on mother and son was stronger.

“What time will you go around tomorrow?”

Polly gave her a half-smile and handed the young woman an address and time before buying a loaf and leaving quickly.

She’d have to be sneaky about it. Ada had a fiery temper, like the rest of her family, and it would only be worse if she found out that Ella had been approached by Polly.


	9. Chapter 9

Ella chewed the inside of her cheek as she debated what she was about to do.

Polly had gone into the building ten minutes ago with a fresh basket from the market. They’d met at the Parlour that morning and she’d had tea with a very forlorn looking Arthur.

Apparently, the man he called father had stolen five hundred pounds with the help of his gullible son and then threatened the poor man when he’d tried to get it back.

Fearing Thomas’ wrath and his own shame, he’d tied a skipping rope around his own neck. The bruises were terrible and Ella had held the man close for a good five minutes over his misery.

No one deserved that kind of hell from a parent.

“Your turn.” Polly sighed beside her suddenly and Ella jumped. “Good lord, am I that scary?”

“I was thinking about Arthur.” Ella straightened her back and frowned at the older woman. “What do you think Thomas will do to him?”

“Nothing.” Polly lit a cigarette. “Arthur’s been punished enough and learned his lesson. They’ll be drinking whiskey at the Garrison together by noon.”

“Men.” Ella muttered and waved goodbye to the Polly as she neared the building Ada had absconded to.

She kept her footsteps light and her breathing even as she knocked quickly on the door and glanced around. “Ada!”

She heard the baby whine from inside and cursed Shelby stubbornness.

“Ada, open up, before she comes back.” She tried to make her voice sound urgent but Ada merely ignored her. “Ada, I’m trying to help! I’ve been following her around all morning and I’ll be damned if-

The door was yanked open and Ada peered out suspiciously before nodding her head. “Get in.”

She rushed inside, collecting Polly’s basket on the way and depositing both onto the little table. “Christ, is this even sanitary?”

“It’s good enough.” Ada crossed her arms and glared at the blonde. “What’re you doing ‘ere?”

“I haven’t heard anything of you for weeks.” Ella started unpacking her basket. “I was worried so I thought I’d follow Polly to where you are so I could see for myself.”

Ada still looked suspicious but allowed Ella to meander over to the bassinet and peer inside. The baby was wrestling his own foot and Ella grinned at him. “He’s beautiful, Ada.”

“His name is Karl.”

The younger girl’s face softened and she moved towards the baskets on the table to have a look. Ella busied herself with lifting Karl into her arms.

He cooed and reached for her finger; eyes wide and curious. He’d only seen his mother the last few weeks and so seeing something new was thrilling him.

“How have you been? Honestly…” Ella looked at Ada with a knowing gaze.

Ada sighed and sagged into a chair, cupping her face. “It’s been hell. I miss Freddie and Karl’s been fussy and Polly won’t just leave me in peace.”

“She’s worried for you.” Ella took the other chair. “I was so I could only imagine your family… you should see her, at least.”

Ada shook her head and Ella huffed, rubbing Karl’s cheek lightly. She didn’t know the girl very well but she wanted to remedy that but she also wanted to help Ada reconnect with her family.

Ella knew first-hand what it was like to have little to no contact with loved ones. Hell; just as Ada had described it.

“You know I heard something interesting the other day,” Ella ventured. “Someone from the bakery said that they’d seen someone on the phone in the Garrison for a long while just before those coppers came to take Freddie…”

Ada raised her head and scowled. “What do you mean?”

Ella shrugged. “It seems logical. If you wanted to tip off the police, you’d want it to be so no one knows it was you, right? Maybe someone heard that he would be there, thought they could make a bit of coin and sold Freddie out…”

Ada’s face was thoughtful as she listened to Ella’s fake explanation. Ella started tickling Karl to seem nonchalant but she knew her story was planting the seed of doubt.

“Who says Tommy didn’t pay them?” Ada scratched the wood angrily.

“Ada, I might not be close to your brother but I can assure you that Thomas Shelby is not a rat.” Ella cocked her head. “He hates that new Inspector more than anyone.”

She left the conversation at that and updated the girl on William, Katie and the twins and Myrtle. Ella assured the younger girl that, while she liked the children, the older Shelby’s still had a long way to go before she’d be friendly with them.

 _Lie._ Her subconscious whispered nastily. _You had dinner with John easily enough. And what about Arthur?_

She offered to make tea after that, trying to shake away the voice and listened to Ada talk about Karl’s progress over the weeks.

He didn’t seem to sleep much but he was drinking easy enough and only got grumpy when he had to have a bath. Ella could see the love in Ada’s eyes and felt happy for her new friend.

They chatted a while longer and when Karl became fussy, Ella gathered her basket and told Ada she’d see her again soon. Polly was waiting for her when she got back to the bakery and Ella nodded at her in solidarity.

***

William was excited the next week when he told her about the outing John had planned for their little family. He wanted to go have a picnic in the country.

Katie talked about the flowers she’d seen the last time and Jacob and James said that they planned on racing each other down a hill.

She promised to make them a cake and some sandwiches and relished in William’s beaming smile. He was such a lovely child and Ella swore she could feel her womb ache…

“What’s your favourite flower, Ella?” Jacob asked, scribbling ever closer to his brother’s side of the paper.

“Heather flowers are quite pretty.” Ella hummed as she finished icing a biscuit. “And roses are always nice. Why do you ask, love?”

“We’ll try and find some for you!” James jumped up as if he’d had the best idea in the world. “And we’ll bring you a ladybug!”

“No bugs, thank you very much.” Ella laughed. “But I’d like the flowers if you can find them.”

James nodded resolutely and continued with his scribbling, fighting off his twin’s green crayon with his own yellow one.

Katie stood from her place and toddled over, rubbing her eyes. “Nap time?”

“Alright, love, just hold on a minute.” She put down the piping bag and wiped her hands. “Will, can you finish these for me?”

Katie dozed all the way up the stairs and yawned loudly as she was laid on the small bed. “Ella, can you be my new Mummy?”

The blonde woman startled at the words and blinked at Katie as she tried to process the words. Good heavens…

“Why would you want me to be your mummy, Katie?”

Katie shrugged with a small scowl. “I love you like one and Daddy says you’re _great_. I think he likes you too.”

Ella couldn’t fathom the five-year-old’s words and so she just tucked the blanket around her and kissed her forehead before leaving.

How had things gotten so confused? The last thing on her mind when she’d started spending time with the Shelby children was to be their mother…

Of course, she treated them almost just as a mother would but that was just because she was doing what her own mother would have done. And she was very fond of them…

And John _liked_ her? What could that possibly mean?

Did it mean that he was warming to the fact that his children spent more time with her than with him or did-?

“No.” she shook her head and forced the thought away. There was no way that John Shelby was starting to like her romantically. They barely saw each other!

“Alright there, Ella?” Myrtle raised an eyebrow at the young girl who suddenly was as white as a sheet.

Ella nodded weakly and made her way back towards the chair behind the till. William glanced up at her and blinked.

“Ella?”

“I’m fine, Will.” Ella failed to smile convincingly. “Just stood up too fast. What time did your father say he’d be by to pick you up?”

“Four.” William looked at Myrtle worriedly. “We can leave now if you’re not feeling well.”

“Nonsense, love, I just wanted to know by what time to have Katie up.” She swallowed and stood as another customer entered to buy a dozen rolls.

***

“Dad, d’you think we could take Ella along to the picnic?” William glanced up at his father. The man was carrying a still sleepy Katie on one hip and trying to coax the twins to walk normally.

“Why?” John shifted, biting down on the matchstick harder to alleviate his anxiety.

“She looked a bit peaky this afternoon and I think the air could be nice for her.” William’s eyes were firmly on his footsteps and John thought back to Ella.

She had looked a bit green when he’d entered the bakery and had rushed off to go make sure Katie was ready to leave. Myrtle had said she’d been acting strange all day but John hadn’t thought anything of it until now.

“If she wants to go, I’m sure we can take her.” John shrugged as nonchalantly as possible. “But you’re not going to go and badger her into coming… if she doesn’t want to come, then leave her alone. Alright?”

William nodded and started humming as he raced to catch up to the twins. John recognised it as a lullaby and thought that he’d probably heard Ella sing it to Katie.

The thought left him hot.

Ella was a beautiful woman. Like a movie star or an angel – just as Katie had said that first day he’d heard of her. When she smiled or blushed, he had to fight not to lose his mind.

And his kids’ obvious love for her only spurred on the little voice in the back of his head telling him to just kiss her and claim her.

“Fuck.” He hissed, clenching his eyes shut as Katie nuzzled further into his shoulder and whispered Ella’s name.

***

Grace waved as Ella entered the Garrison. The Irishwoman was serving a portly man and Ella quickly hurried to the back where the phone was.

She fished Alfie’s number out and swallowed thickly as she dialled it and waited. She stared at the wall for a while and imagined what he was doing and then the line opened and she nearly sobbed.

“What the fuck d’you want?”

She giggled, tears pooling in her eyes. “Hello, Alfie.”

“Fuckin’ hell, Nora!” he heard a chair clatter to the ground and then he was shouting for Ollie to fetch her mother. “Fuck! I’s good to hear your voice. Where you been?”

“Busy.” Ella hummed. “I didn’t want to call for a while. Wanted to settle in first.”

She heard him grunt. Alfie was very proficient with intimidating even the staunchest man with big words but he wasn’t one to talk much anymore. She’d learned that side of him after he’d come home from France…

“How are things over there?” she asked softly. “Is Sabini still being a shit?”

“Let’s not talk about him, love. I want to hear about you.” Alfie grumbled and she had her answer.

Darby Sabini had been giving Alfie trouble for over a year now and Ella had heard her friend curse the Italian more times than she could remember.

“I work with that friend of mum’s now.” She smiled. “You’d like her, Alf. She’s just like Mrs. MacDonald.”

Alfie laughed hoarsely and then cut off as her mother’s voice sounded in the background. “I’ll leave you to it, then.”

Ella waited as the phone exchanged hands and laughed at Alfie telling Ollie to ‘fuck off and go check the barrels’.

“He really should stop abusing that poor boy like that.” Her mother’s voice was soft and sad and Ella wished more than anything to hug her.

“Tell him I’ll flay him if he doesn’t stop.” Ella smiled. “Hi, mum.”

“My sweet girl.” Her mother was surely weeping now. Ruth Cohan was fiercely protective of her daughter and Ella knew that leaving would break her mother’s heart. “How are you? Is Myrtle treating you alright, at least?”

Ella chuckled. “Myrtle is amazing, mum. Reminds me of Mrs. MacDonald.”

Ruth sniffed and attempted a laugh but gave up and sighed instead. “Have you made some friends?”

Ella blushed and cleared her throat. “Oh, well… I have a few people I see regularly and I’ve also been looking after some children for a single father…”

“Single?” Ruth sounded suspicious and Ella rolled her eyes.

“His aunt asked me to.” Lies. “They’re very sweet. I’m quite fond of them.”

“As long as you’re happy, darling.” Ruth muttered. “That scum has been missing for weeks but Alfred’s men said that he’d been up in York the other day.”

Ella inhaled at the mention of _him_. She closed her eyes and reminded herself that she was safe – that he couldn’t know where she was.

“Oh, darling.” Ruth choked. “I wish I could take away all those memories. I wish I could tell you to come home and forget all about it…”

Ella shook her head and wiped at the tears underneath her eyes. “No, mum. I’m fine here… I know I can be happy here. It’s a new start.”

They were silent for a few moments before Alfie came back and Ella made her excuses to go. She promised them that she’d start calling more often and hung up.

She took a while to compose herself and forced a smile onto her face as she exited the little room. Grace held up a glass in question but Ella quickly shook her head. She still needed to get to Ada’s


	10. Chapter 10

John fiddled with his shirt collar as he approached the bakery. He knew that they were going to be closed the whole day so he knocked nervously.

It was still early and he wondered if Myrtle would be very mad at him for waking her up. He prepared a new matchstick as he waited and tried not to let his nerves get the best of him.

He glanced up as he saw candlelight approaching. Ella’s eyes were wide as she took him in but then she seemed to snap out of it and quickly unlocked the door.

She looked beautiful in her white night gown and John fought the images invading his mind by thinking of bombs and blood.

“Is something wrong, John?”

He shook his head and laughed. “No. I… I just… just wanted to come by and invite you to the picnic. Will said that you might want to come with us…”

Ella blushed prettily and he felt his chest swell. “Oh, well… I don’t know.”

He rolled the matchstick. “You don’t have to… just thought it be nice to get away, you know?”

Ella hummed and glanced back, exposing the smooth column of her neck to him and John groaned internally. She looked back and him and bit her lip.

“I suppose it couldn’t hurt.” She offered him a small smile, eyes shining. “What time should I be ready?”

“Around ten?” he shrugged. “We’re not going very far but I want to go far enough that we can get the smog out’f our lungs.”

She nodded and squeezed his arm before bidding him a good morning and flitting back upstairs after relocking the door. He stood in stunned silence for a few minutes before smiling to himself.

He felt like when he was fifteen and gearing up to ask Martha to be his girl. He knew, though, Ella was nothing like Martha.

When he got back to the Parlour, Polly was drinking tea and perusing the paper. She smiled at him warmly and offered him a cup.

“No, I have to get the kids up and dressed.” He sighed. “We’re going out for a picnic later and I still need to run a few errands for Tommy.”

Polly nodded put her cup down. “I’ll see to Katie, love, she asked for the curls again last night.”

John chuckled. His little girl had taken to the curls father than a fish to water. She loved them and often told everyone who complemented her that it was Ella that did them.

“She’s really grown fond of that girl.” Polly continued as she watched the emotions flash across her nephew’s face. “Could even go so far as to say she loves Ella.”

John cleared his throat and shrugged. “Is that such a bad thing?”

“It is if you meet someone else who’ll become their mother, John.” Polly crossed her arms. “Or are you planning on making Ella yours officially?”

He felt the tips of his ears turn red and Polly hummed knowingly. He opened his mouth to retort by she was already halfway up the stairs.

***

“How’s Ada and the baby?” Myrtle asked as she brought in a cup of tea and an orange bun. Ella fluffed out her freshly washed hair and grinned.

“Oh, Myrtle, he’s so beautiful. He’s been babbling a lot more and Ada said that she’s been going crazy… I really think she’d close to running back home just for some company that isn’t mine or her own.”

Myrtle shook her head and perched on the edge of Ella’s bed. “As much as those Shelby’s vex me, Ada’s always been a good child. She doesn’t deserve what happened to Freddie.”

“She curses every time Thomas’ name is mentioned.” Ella sighed. “She still thinks he had something to do with it.”

Myrtle didn’t say anything further and Ella quickly roped her into picking an outfit for the day. She needed to be practical but she still wanted to feel pretty.

After settling on a nice grey skirt and a purple patterned jumper with her nice black shoes. She left her hair curly but pinned it up and away from her face.

When Myrtle reminded her that it was nearly half past nine, Ella rushed down to prepare the sandwiches and check on the cake she’d had Myrtle set aside for her.

It was a simple chocolate cake and cucumber sandwiches but she still felt excited as she packed everything into her basket and added a few extra blankets.

By five to ten, she was practically bouncing. She saw the Shelby family car pull up in front of the shop and inhaled to calm down.

She didn’t dwell on why she was so excited and greeted William and the twins as they entered ahead of their father.

Katie waved at her from the car. Ella giggled at the sight of the loose curls around the young girls’ face and hugged her brothers before they gathered everything she’d prepared.

“Hello again.” Ella chewed the inside of her cheek as she watched John loiter near the counter with his hands tucked in his pockets.

“Morning. You’ve been busy.” He glanced at the boys who were trying to fit the basket and blankets into the back of the car.

“Not really.” Ella walked forward and linked her arms with his. “Just a cake and some sandwiches. It’s the least I could do to thank you for inviting me along.”

John ignored the warmth that seeped from her skin through his jacket and kept to a small smile in an effort not to embarrass himself. “The kids love you and I’d do anything to see smile on their faces.”

Ella blinked and stared at the side of his face and felt all the dislike she still harboured for this man just melt right out of her body.

She couldn’t hate him. Not after saying something so sweet and caring…

“What?” John stopped next to the passenger side and opened the door. She accepted his hand and took the basket from the twins’ grasp to put it at her feet.

“Nothing.” Ella said softly. She turned to greet and hug Katie and laughed as the little girl clung to her neck. When Ella went to pull back, Katie followed and so that was how they set off towards their picnic.

Katie on her lap and the boys all chattering excitedly about what they were going to do and see. John couldn’t stop the grin from slipping onto his face.

***

Ella sighed contentedly and inhaled the country air under the large oak that John had picked for their picnic spot. She’d laughed when he admitted that he’d forgotten blankets, so hers were spread out so that the children could play away from the adults if they wanted to.

John fiddled his matchstick between his fingers as he watched her unpack her stock. “Where’d you learn to bake?”

William and the twins were running not too far off and Katie was busying herself with some wildflowers behind the tree.

Ella giggled. “My mother worked for Myrtle before she ran off with my father. She taught me everything she knew…”

“Your mum was from here?”

“I assume so.” Ella nibbled on a sandwich. “My mother never really spoke of her younger years but she and my father met at the bakery so…”

“D’you look like your mum?” John leaned back and appraised her.

“I have her eyes.” Ella cleared her throat. “She always says that I’m the perfect mix of the two of them…”

“I look like my dad.” John shook his head. “Only thing we got from mum was the temper. Although… dad’s a right shit when he’s drunk.”

Ella giggled and he preened at seeing her cheeks so rosy because of a joke he’d made. He spotted Jacob flicking something at his older brother and raised a warning finger – their clothes were already in a state, no need for mud as well.

“How did your parents meet?” Ella asked as she sipped the small flask of whiskey he had slipped into the basket.

“Dad’s always been charming.” John rolled his eyes. “He went to a fair with his mates and mum was reading fortunes. He bought a pocket watch off my uncle Charlie and made a night with my mum part of the deal… the rest is… well-

“He bartered your mother at a fair?” Ella sounded affronted. “That sounds ludicrous.”

John chuckled and stayed quiet, leaning his head back and closing his eyes. Ella started humming lightly and with the children giggling in the background, he really couldn’t have asked for a better day.

“What would you be doing if you weren’t a part of the family business?”

John blinked and frowned at her. He’d never given much thought to it; being away from his family. Even though he wanted to murder some of them half the time…

“I don’t know.” He scratched at his knee. “I suppose I was always meant for this life…”

Ella tilted her head and sighed. “I’d have liked a farm.”

He chuckled and leant towards her. “A farm? With chickens and all?”

“Chickens and cows and horses…” she got a sort of dreamy look. “I always thought it would be nice to live a quiet life… with a family of my own.”

John couldn’t help but glance at his kids. He wondered if they’d want a quiet life too; raising chickens and cows.

“William and the twins are too much like you and your brothers to leave.” Ella said, “Katie might want to go to London someday but they’ll always come back.”

“Like you?”

Ella laughed – a sound that made him warm in his chest and… lower. “I came back to escape – not because I knew I had a family who would stand by me no matter what.”

John opened his mouth to ask what a woman such as she would ever need to escape but Jacob’s sudden arrival and grumbly stomach put her into motion.

She called everyone over and started deftly handing out sandwiches, pulling Katie closer to tuck her hair away.

“These are the best.” James said with a mouth full. “Always the best.”

William nudged him and John shook his head, silently agreeing with his boy. Everything Ella did seemed to make his insides flutter as of late.

After eating sandwiches and a bit more time in the sunshine, they ate their cake and quickly packed up. John was sad to have the say end so quickly but he knew that he needed to get the kids back soon or they’d grow bored and start really throwing mud.

“Thank you for today.” Ella said quietly as she held Katie close to her. His little girl had her face pressed into Ella’s neck and was letting out little snores.

“It’s me that should thank you. I don’t think we’d have eaten if I was alone with them…”

She laughed again and clicked her tongue playfully, glancing back at the boys. The twins were in various stages of undress and falling asleep against Will, who looked annoyed at being used as a bed.

“Still, this is the most fun I’ve had in a while.” She grinned at him.

***

Across the street from the bakery – staring from a window – a man watched as the Shelby family car pulled up and Eleanor stepped out, holding onto John’s hand.

His fist clenched around the cup of tea he’d let get cold. She was smiling up at the man as if he’d hung the stars; beautiful as ever.

This wouldn’t do. He’d have to move fast or lose her to the ruffian for good.


End file.
